#i'm stressed too but we will do our best together no matter what the outcome is

[evilasiangenius]

Remember we have something that we may not have had the benefit of in the last election: community that you can see in person. Go see your friends, go hug those you care about.

We'll get through this, we've gotten through worse.

However, in a pinch because maybe you're too far away or maybe you're in a situation where you don't have much support, you can also message me. Readers and non-readers alike, I got your back too.

Hang in there, don't give up hope too soon.

[toliveforthehopeofitall626]

A Touch of Anxiety

Tsu popped her head just inside your door and smiled as she saw you and Ochaco talking in your nest. "Knock knock." She walked the rest of the way inside. "Deku is just finishing up dinner and the others will be home soon. If you don't want to meet them all at once you can eat in here, I'll stay with you so you're not lonely."

You thought it over for a moment before shaking your head. "No, no I don't want to put anyone out, but I really should meet everyone sooner rather than later." 

"You really have to stop thinking your existence is putting anyone out." Ochaco stated in response to you. "But I'm sure that everyone would love to have you for dinner tonight... I mean have you eat with us for dinner." She smiled as she got up and headed to the door. "I'm going to go get ready, meet you there y/n." She continued out of the room. 

"Get ready?" You looked over at Tsu as you could feel yourself begin to panic. "Are we supposed to do something special to prepare for dinner? I don't know if I have anything appropriate." You got up and started looking through your new clothes in your closet, desperately trying to look for anything that would be nice enough to wear for the alphas and betas of the pack but also nothing too formal. 

"Y/n please calm down, you don't have to change." Tsu walked over to you. "There's no dress code or requirement for dinner. Wear whatever you'll be most comfortable in, if that's the clothes you currently have on then that is great. All that you need is to be there and everything else will be fine."

You looked over at Tsu as she eased your panic. "You're sure? When the alphas of my old pack would have diners together you always had to wear nice clothes and be presentable. It was a big deal."

"Given what we know of your alpha pack that doesn't surprise me. No one here is ever going to expect you to do anything like that. If your happy and comfortable that is the best outcome." She smiled reassuringly over at you. "Come on, let's go out to the dining room." You nodded and the two of you walked out of the room. 

Dinner was only a few minutes out from being finished. You worked with Tsu to get the table set up, setting plats and utensils all around the table. The two of you were just setting the last place when you heard the door open. Suddenly the house was filled with sound as you heard several voices coming into the home. 

Your anxiety started growing again at the now immanent meeting. What would you do if they didn't like you? If they all hated you? Where would you go? You had no one and nothing to your name. If they hated you and kicked you out you'd be out on the streets. You'd never be able to survive there. 

Tsu looked over at you, able to smell the sudden increase in stress pheromones in your scent. "Y/n take a deep breath. Your thinking of the worse most improbable outcome there could be."

You looked back at her and nodded before taking a deep breath and slowly letting it go. She was right, the worse thing that could have happened, or more so that you thought could happen, already had happened. Your life was already thrown into chaos. You were kidnapped by villains, discovered as an omega, and forced to leave the only family and pack you'd ever known for your own safety. You handled all of that easily with new friends by your side. There was no way that meeting this new pack would result in anything as jarring as what had already happened to you. 

"There you go, just remember, no matter what happens, we are all on the same page and have all agreed to let you live here okay? Besides you already have all of the pack omega's who adore you, the rest of the pack will too. Trust me. I'll be right back." Tsu smiled at you before heading out to greet the other members of her pack. 

You did your best in her absence to continue to keep yourself calm. It was not the easiest task, keeping the spiraling thoughts away, but Tsu was right. You had already befriended Izuku, Ochaco, and Tsu. Even if the others didn't like you, you still had the three of them. You wouldn't be alone. Not anymore. For once in your life you actually had people who you could rely on. 

"Out of the way Extra's." You head what sounded like an angry voice come from the door just as a boy with spiky blonde hair walked in. His scent hit you just seconds later. He smelled like burnt sugar in a strangely pleasant way. You hadn't thought much about scents until that moment, strangely you didn't recall noticing the others with as strong of a smell. You'd have to remember to ask someone about that later in private. 

The other boy stared at you as he came into the room. You were frozen, like a deer caught in headlights. All the anxiety you had been working to calm came right back up. Something inside you, that same feeling from before, your omega was suddenly at high alert. The anxiety in you all but disappeared as your omega recognized the presence of a strong alpha in the room. You had never felt this way before in your old pack. It had to have something to do with the blockers you had been on. A small part of you missed not having to deal with these strange feelings. It was terrifying and only bound to get worse as you felt others nearby. 

[ardenla]

If I could travel back in time

This is a short horror story I wrote.

TW: Gore, psychological horror

If I could travel back in time, I would have changed a lot of things.

Would you?

I wouldn't just do better at everything or undo certain mistakes, I would probably become your friend.

Do you remember, when we were little, that we actually lived quite close to each other? Y'know when you're born here you just don't seem willing to leave. All the locals have this problem.

Well anyway, your house was just a couple of streets away from mine.

Back then we even went to the same kindergarten, we would play in the sandbox together from time to time. You were almost always the quiet one in class, I was the only one wanting to interact with you.

Even with all that I wish I had gotten to know you better.

Our parents could have been such good friends, they share some of the same interests, don't they?

We could go anywhere we wanted together, maybe catch a movie or go swimming?

I know you liked those things back then.

I wish we still had that time.

We didn't go to the same elementary school, but if I could go back, I would have made sure we went together.

You were really into board games back then, right? Did you like chess? A classic, I know. I totally suck at it, but I think that game fits you. We still could have played it together.

Do you remember around that time my aunt's dog went missing, we never found out what happened to him. And that wasn't the only missing animal from around that time.

I wish I could go back, since around that time I could still change the outcome.

We did have junior and high school together.

You got bullied around this time, you didn't accept help from anyone and I never got close to you. I'm sorry.

If I had just one chance to go back, I would show you that the world is still filled with kind people who love to help others. We would have gone to the same classes, have the same boring teachers and maybe break some rules for fun. We could do our internships together or work at the same place.

But it's too late now.

After school I would take you traveling, to see the world. Like I did before, just not with you.

If you wanted to go to a city, we could maybe go to London or even Paris. Not sure where we would get the money, but if I time traveled I could probably win us a lottery or something.

Maybe you prefer nature, then we could visit Canada or Iceland. I sure would have loved to go there someday. And you do seem more like the type to enjoy nature.

Anyway I'm sure we could have had a lot of fun.

So why... even if you don't know me...

We could start working for the same company, somewhere you feel at rest... at peace. No bullying, no annoying bosses that force their employees to work themselves half to death.

It might be boring to your standards, but I could make it more fun for you.

When you would feel down, I would make you feel better. If you would be sick, I would come visit you and make you soup.

I would do so much for you, just to make sure this wouldn't happen. We would have been the best of friends. We would be inseparable.

I try so hard to imagine you as a good person, as a good human being.

Like a good friend.

But it's just stupid.

I can't think of anything good about you.

I didn't know you back then, but now I do.

Imagining good things or fun situations with you, just feels awful.

I know I wasn't there for you in your darkest moments, but I never wronged you or hurt you.

So why?

Oh well, it doesn't matter.

It's just too late.

For you and for me.

I already suspected you for a while, even when the police didn't find enough evidence.

Well you sure did what I expected you to do. I don't know why I even went with you., but I went prepared.

Now I lie here, just like the others. With a bloody red neck tattoo and dirt in my face.

I don't feel anymore.

I don't see anymore.

My hands are like ice.

Just like them.

Just like you soon.

You were stressed this time.

I could feel it.

You weren't careful enough

I fought back, but even though I didn't survive I got evidence of your crime.

I also have people already looking for me as I lie here, staring empty at you shoveling more dirt to cover my ghostly pale body.

This never had to have happened.

Well I don't really care about what will happen to you anymore.

But I'm certain you will be found, you will be taken.

You will be put in a small, dark room. Darker than your soul.

You will spend your eternity there until we will come to pick you up.

Oh, just you wait until we get you...

[anvoo]

09.07.2023

What would me and my life look like in a year from now, some time around mid 2024?

I would hope that I'm a bit more fit and healthy, that I would have caught up with my exams and are doing ok in Uni, that I would be more consistent and dedicate more of my time to my hobbies, that I would have more friends, that me and Cat would be together. I hope also that my grandparents would still be alive and healthy, my parents too, that me and my sister would talk a little more than right now.

A few of those things are largely in my control, like my health, my grades, my time management, more or less my social circle/ friend group.

Few others are less so. Whether me and Cat could use our break time well and be together then, or my family's health, or whether or not my sister feels like talking more (not all are equally in my control, but it's less than the ones above).

The things that are largely in my control, I don't seem to react or feel as negatively towards them when something goes out of plan or not great, probably because I know that it's my responsibilities and consequences of my actions.

Things that are not, well, I scramble sometimes when they don't go as planned.

Now that I'm writing this, I seem to realize that I have more control in a few of these things than I thought. Me interacting with my sister, if I put more effort into trying to talk to her, maybe we would talk more. About my family's health, if I could reduce their stress (worry less about me), that would be nice. I would like to see them also. About me and Cat, I realized that, it's not really luck or fate that'll determine for the most part how we'll end up. "Whether or not we could use our break time well" is the important part here. I know how we feel towards each other, so if we manage to use the time we've given ourselves well, I don't see a reason why we can't try again and be together. I think that, as long as I try my best, I'll be ok, no matter what happens. This reminds me of that train trip in April. There are simply things that I don't have much control over, and that's ok. When I let go instead of trying so hard to grasp for control, I'm less attached to the outcome, and more to the process. If I did my best and I believed in myself and my actions, then I know I'll be fine no matter what happens.

I don't need to predict and plan for everything; who am I to think that I can, I'm just a human being :p, and life seems a lot kinder and attractive that way. Plus, who knows what might happen? Me and Cat right now is exactly one of those things that I never even thought would be the case, but here we are.

Got to let go and live a little.

True that.

Goodnight!

Goodnight!

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Heyo, reporting back to request a continuation of a continuation of a continuation, if you wouldn't mind! Aka, please more 3rd Life Villainpulse angst, I'm so invested (and very curious as to whether his latest murder attempt was an actual success, or if he really should have stuck around to verify the death...)

i genuinely rly love this! i’ve got such plans for it now that i think i’ll make it into an actual proper fic.

i’ve also now posted it on AO3, titled Stand For Nothing! link here

…

Impulse is getting concerned. It’s been over five minutes and no death message in chat. It should’ve happened by now. He had been worried about being found near the scene of a death — it’d already been about five minutes since the meeting and someone would’ve gone to find Skizz, so his items would almost certainly be found — but now he’s starting to think he should have stuck around anyway and made sure the job was finished.

He had been intending to stay here at his villager trading centre until the death notification came up and then he would run back to Dogwarts and play the distressed best friend.

But no death message. So his plan has to change.

When he makes it back to Dogwarts, he finds Ren standing outside the Renchanting building, his face pale. When he spots Impulse, he quickly beckons him. “Impulse! For the love of god, where’ve you been?!”

Impulse blinks. With no death message in chat, what can Ren be so worked up about? “W-What? What’s happened…?”

“Skizzle’s been attacked! We heard an explosion outside our walls and when we went to check, we found him out there, passed out. He’s in a critical condition but Martyn’s with him now and hopefully he’ll recover.”

Impulse can only stare at Ren with an open mouth and a pit in his stomach. Somehow, in all the possible outcomes he pictured for this scenario, he never imagined Dogwarts would actually find Skizz alive. After three perfect murders, it seems he got careless.

“O-Oh my god,” he manages to choke out. “C-Can I see him?”

“Not yet, but Martyn will tell us when we can.”

Ren takes him down into the living area under Renchanting. There, Etho is pacing back and forth in front of a closed door, clearly deep in thought, but he glances up as Ren comes in. “Ren, you found him.”

Ren nods, even though it wasn’t really a question. “Any word?”

“Not yet. Martyn has three healing potions in there with him though, so I’d say Skizz’s chances are really good.”

Impulse has to strain to keep his expression steady at that. “G-Good. That’s good.”

Something changes almost imperceptibly in Etho’s expression, but Ren, clearly not noticing, rubs Impulse’s back reassuringly. “He’ll be okay, Impulse. Don’t worry.”

All Impulse can do is nod, not trusting himself to speak.

Finally, after what feels like hours, the door opens and Martyn appears, his body blocking the view inside the room. “He’s awake,” he reports, a very serious look on his face. “Ren.”

Ren quickly ducks into the room, but when Impulse starts to follow, Martyn blocks him. “Not you,” he says coldly. “Etho, stay with him, please.”

Impulse’s heart freezes. There’s only one reason Martyn would stop him from seeing his injured best friend.

Skizz has told him everything.

He takes a step back and bumps into something behind him, causing him to jump.

“What’s going on, Impulse?” asks Etho casually, an only-just-discernible undertone of danger in his voice. “You seem a little tense.”

“My best friend almost died,” Impulse replies coldly, but even he can tell his words are unconvincing.

“Indeed. I wonder how that happened?”

“I don’t like what you’re implying, Etho. Why would you have any reason to suspect me?”

Etho just folds his arms and says nothing, infuriating Impulse. “You said I was the only person on this server you really trust!”

“That was before I joined these guys. I’ve had a weird feeling in my stomach about you for a while, Impulse. Something hasn’t felt right since this whole thing started, but I assumed it was just me trying to apply rationality to this irrational world. But one thing never changes, Impulse. No matter how much you try to change it.”

Impulse falls silent, scowling at the ground. He’s already given away too much in his tone and expression.

He glances sideways at Etho, who has his eyes fixed on the door Ren and Martyn went through. Realisation dawns on him: Etho isn’t expecting him to put up a fight. Etho thinks he has nowhere to go.

Now is the time, then. He can’t afford to wait any longer; when Ren and Martyn come back out here, it’s over. Impulse knows he can’t take on three people at once. This is his last chance to escape alive.

So when Etho shifts position a few seconds later, Impulse strikes. Before he can react, Impulse sweeps Etho’s legs out from under him and shoves him into the wall as he’s falling. Without waiting around to see the result of his attack, Impulse takes off running.

He makes it out of Renchanting and is just about to run down the hill towards the crastle when an arrow whizzes by him, nicking the sleeve of his t-shirt and causing him to lose his balance. Suppressing a scream, Impulse topples down the hill and lands in the shallow river at the bottom. He tries to continue onward but has to stop as he puts weight on his left foot and realises he must have twisted his ankle during his fall.

Gritting his teeth through the throbbing pain, he looks up in time to be able to dodge another arrow fired at him by the figure on top of Dogwarts’s wall.

He has to keep going.

Every step on his left foot is agony but he pushes himself on, half-galloping down the hill on the other side, the crastle in his sights.

“Bdubs!” he shrieks as he draws near, his heart racing. The Red Army is likely right behind him. “BDUBS!”

The person he’s calling rushes out of the castle over the drawbridge just in time to catch Impulse as he finally loses his balance and pitches forward.

“Impulse! You’re soaking wet!? What the-?!”

“Th- They’re coming for me,” he croaks. His eyes flicker up and he spots two faces in the windows on the second floor. It’s time for the performance of his life. “Dogwarts turned on me! They think I killed Tango and Cleo a-a-and made you kill Joel!”

“What?!” gasps Bdubs. “That’s ridiculous! Why would they think that?!”

“I-I don’t know but th- They’re gonna kill me, Bdubs…!”

“Not on my watch!”

Bdubs quickly ushers Impulse inside the crastle and into the waiting arms of Jimmy. Together, the two guide Impulse upstairs and lay him down in the bed Grian has placed in a position safely away from the slit windows.

“What happened, Impulse?” Bdubs asks softly. “How did they turn on you?”

Impulse takes a shaky breath. “Something happened to Skizz. He… He got attacked. Then he told everyone it was me and that I’d killed Tango and Cleo and manipulated you into killing Joel.”

“First of all, that’s utterly ridiculous,” Bdubs snaps. “I killed Joel because he was about to kill you. And second, why on earth would you want to kill Tango or Cleo?”

“I-I think you might’ve been right, Bdubs. I th-think Etho was responsible for Cleo’s death. And now he’s got Dogwarts trying to make me a scapegoat.”

Bdubs’s gaze darkens. “Despicable little-.”

“BDOUBLEO!”

“Stay there,” says Bdubs.

He strides to the window, flanked by Grian and Scott, armed with his crossbow. “What do you want, Ren?”

Down on the ground, having left Skizz in the care of BigB, stand Ren, Martyn, and Etho, staring up at the castle. The latter two hold bows, while Ren is armed with a sword and shield.

“We know Impulse is hiding out in there,” Ren announces, with the regal but dangerous air of a king. “Hand him over to us, Bdubs.”

“No way in hell,” Bdubs snaps back. “He told me everything!”

“We can guarantee you he did not,” responds Martyn steadily. “Not the truth, anyway. He’s using you, Bdubs.”

“YOU’re the ones using HIM! As a scapegoat!”

“Impulse isn’t the angel you think he is, Bdubs,” Etho says darkly. “You’re protecting the person who killed Cleo.”

“No, YOU killed Cleo,” snarls Bdubs. “And I bet you killed Tango too and tried to blame it on me! You’re just trying to frame anyone you can so you can get away with it!”

Despite the pain and stress he’s experiencing, Impulse can’t help feeling proud of himself. The seeds of doubt and suspicion he’s sown between Bdubs and Etho are paying off now.

“Bdubs.” Ren’s voice drops slightly as emotion creeps into his tone. “He attacked his best friend and left him to die. If we hadn’t found him in time, Skizz would have succumbed to his injuries alone and terrified in the middle of nowhere, murdered by his own best friend.”

“What exactly is Impulse’s motive supposed to be, here?” Scott asks suddenly. “You say he killed Tango and Cleo, orchestrated Joel’s death, and tried to murder Skizzle. Why exactly would he want to do that?”

“Skizz claims Impulse said it was because Tango “knew too much” about something,” Martyn says. “Some kind of secret that Impulse is keeping. And that Cleo’s and Joel’s deaths were “necessary to push the war forward”. That’s his motive, Scott. Impulse wants war, and he doesn’t care who he hurts to get it.”

“We ARE talking about the same Impulse, right?” demands Bdubs. “Our Impulse? The sweetheart who wouldn’t hurt a fly? Are we sure Skizz didn’t just misremember? He's a little unreliable like that. Maybe he said it was someone else who-.”

“Don’t you dare!” Martyn bursts out suddenly, his voice filled with the most venom anyone had ever heard it. “Don’t you DARE say that! You weren’t there, Bdubs! You didn’t have to fix his broken ribs and his fractured neck and his shattered arm! You weren’t there when he finally woke up after several minutes of crying out and panicked breathing like he was having a nightmare! You didn’t hear the way he cried, how terrified he was when he told me what happened, the raw agony in his voice! That’s not the demeanor of someone who MISREMEMBERED! Skizz has gone through hell today and it’s all Impulse’s fault! So I’m not leaving here without his head, in one form or another!”

“YEAH!” Ren yells in agreement, hitting his sword against his shield. “No more arguments. No more wasting time. If you don’t give us Impulse right NOW, we will declare war on you and take him by force.”

Inside the crastle, Impulse’s heart skips a beat. This is it: the moment of truth. Either everything he’s been working towards will finally come to fruition… or Bdubs will hand him over and he will die.

Bdubs straightens up, a steely look of determination appearing in his eyes.

“Then consider us at war.”

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 16)

We've just seen a pretty stressful arc, and on the other end of this post is yet another stressful arc. Upcoming is little break from serious plotlines to focus more on relationship growth and introduce some concepts that may seem minor now but will be pretty important later (though that will especially be the case for Mikan's perspective).

I'm on something of a vacation right now so I don't have a lot of time to format and work on this. The editing might be somewhat limited so if there's more mistakes than usual (not that I ever make mistakes) then I'm very sorry.

Chapter Seventy-One

The next few chapters are a welcome respite from the stresses of two major arcs. We just had to deal with Natsume’s heavy backstory, Mikan’s near-death experience, and a lot of fighting. The next major arc is the Sport Fest, and that gets pretty heavy very early on. So having a short break like this is more than needed so that we can catch our breath and maybe foolishly hope that everything will stay “back to normal”.

We join Natsume, who is again looking wistfully at the little Christmas-wrapped bag. We still aren’t entirely sure what’s in it, reading for the first time, but we can surmise it has something to do with Mikan. But reading for the nth time, we know that it’s his alice stone, and he’s been keeping it with himself since at least New Year’s, but probably earlier as well.

Quick! Put that away, it's embarrassing!

He’s interrupted by Ruka, who is eager to spend time with his friend. They’re both able to laugh and joke with each other, which prompts Ruka to say that he knows Mikan helped Natsume get to the point where he can laugh freely.

It’s interesting, because, even though it should be, Natsume’s DA class life is not necessarily any easier. In fact, it’s harder. He’s going through more now than ever as a way to take all the punishment for the problems with the Hana Hime party. And yet somehow, despite all that, he’s still able to smile. He’s light-hearted. He’s at peace with his life, content simply to stand in the same vicinity as Mikan.

Natsume’s love for her is pure and innocent. All he wants is to keep her safe. Seeing her happy makes him happy. The fact that she considers him a friend is more than enough to keep him smiling. He is not morose that she probably doesn’t feel the same. In fact, in a lot of ways, he’d prefer she doesn’t, because he still can’t give much more than he already is.

So, yes, he can smile, despite his life not being much easier, all because Mikan is in it.

Ruka then points out another fact, that he knows Natsume stayed to protect Mikan.

Natsume confirms it. He says he’ll protect Mikan from anything that stands in her way, no matter what.

In the TokyoPop, he just says something like "no matter what" but here he just goes out and says it (sacrificing my own life...). Natsume's fate was obvious from the start. It was all leading to a specific outcome. It was always going to happen this way. He's just too eager...

This scene is a further example of how that scene from after the Christmas Ball has really changed their friendship. They are more open with each other. They have conversations. They laugh together. They communicate. There are still some topics Natsume won’t touch, but he can be open with Ruka about this.

Ruka says he wants to protect her too, because he also likes Mikan, and because he wants to keep Natsume smiling. After all, Ruka promised that if Natsume wasn’t smiling, he wouldn’t either, and now Natsume is smiling. That’s worth protecting, because it didn’t come easy.

There truly are no hard feelings between them about Mikan. They aren’t turning bitter, or arguing over her. There’s no resentment. They loved each other before they loved Mikan and ultimately they just want the other to be happy. And whoever Mikan chooses to love, if it even ends up being one of them, would be fine, because she’ll be happy too. Moreover, they both seem to be somewhat rooting for the other, and always have been, especially Natsume. He wants Ruka and Mikan to be happy, and because he’s aware that his life will be cut very short, he doesn’t think she will be happy if she chooses him, which would never happen, in his own mind. Why would anyone choose him over Ruka?

Ruka then reminisces on the day they both first met Mikan, where we get a full explanation of why Natsume tried to escape that day: not because of Misaki-sensei’s claims that Natsume was a repeat escapee, but because he was getting bullied and wanted a letter from his dad.

The story ends and they both notice Mikan crying, trying to find Hotaru. She finds Narumi instead, who makes a comment that he knew from the moment he first saw her that she’d save Natsume, and confirms that’s why he made her his partner. Now that Natsume is no longer such a troublemaker, and that he has done his job in helping him, there’s less of a weight on his shoulders. Of course, the wind is raging and she can’t hear him, but Natsume heard.

Who the fuck is Narumi calling a burden?

He’s angry because Narumi is right. He also finally knows who exactly pulled the strings to make them partners, and that he’s in love with her because of Naru’s meddling. So he jumps down from the tree and kicks him, causing Mikan, who was in his arms, to be flung far away.

That gives Natsume enough time to scold Naru for hugging Mikan in the first place, and also for having the audacity to say Natsume’s behavior was a weight on his shoulders. Essentially, stay out of my business, despite the fact that Narumi sticking his nose in Natsume’s business is exactly the reason Natsume is so happy right now.

But even when Natsume storms off and Mikan angrily follows him, and they’re both trailed by Ruka, Narumi can see the truth. He was spot on.

Chapter Seventy-Two

This chapter is a fountain of lore! There’s so much new information and the online scans have kept me ignorant to it for a long time! There’s a lot of text and info, so it might be daunting to have to translate it all and write it out, but the price of saving time is that fans who care will be at a disadvantage.

I wanted to share some of the information that I’d found lacking in the scans just in case anybody wanted to know: the more powerful a user is, the more control they have over a stone’s size, shape, and vividness of color. Thus, Tono, a powerful alice user, can make his alice stone look like an eggplant. You could imagine a powerful user making their stone heart-shaped, or more circular or ovular depending on what they like best. The color of the alice stone reflects the user’s personality and maybe even their alice, not necessarily their favorite color, which is how Ruka’s ends up being a cream/brownish color, and not blue like I’d imagined for years. Koko reads some color meanings from an aura textbook to help sort out what the colors in a stone might signify.

This is all brought on anyway by Mikan being followed by an aquamarine alice stone, which we can tell is probably Sakurano’s. Out of loyalty to Yuka, he has strong wishes of wanting to protect Mikan, hence the stone following her around and being aquamarine, which symbolizes feelings of compassion and care.

Natsume and Ruka are both confused about this stone--it’s neither of theirs, after all--but since Mikan has so many friends who care for her, even amongst the staff and upperclassmen, it honestly could have come from anybody.

Although everyone wants to see Natsume make an alice stone, seeing as he is the most powerful alice user in Class B, Narumi makes it clear that he’s already learned everything there is to know about making stones, and thus can do whatever he wants during the lesson, which is what Natsume had wanted. This is intriguing information, because Narumi says specifically, “There’s nothing more we can teach him,” which begs the question: how does Narumi know? Has Natsume shown the staff his alice stone? It’s unlikely he would’ve asked a teacher for help in creating one, since he doesn’t trust any of them as far as he can throw them. But maybe, in order to get out of doing the lesson, he showed a teacher his alice stone to prove that he doesn’t need to be taught anything.

Tono brings up one last tip before they all begin to make their first alice stones. For once, you’re not using your alice for your own use. Somebody else will be using your stone, so how you feel about the person will come out in the stone, whether it’s good or bad. Wanting to protect or harm somebody, whether you have concern or resentment towards them, it will all show up in the stone, so focusing on certain emotions is tantamount to getting the result you want. These feelings can also influence the color, like everything else.

Red is mentioned as being a color of passion and strong feelings, and although Natsume's alice stones are all red anyway, according to his personality, it's interesting that when he makes a stone just for Mikan, it comes out as such a vibrant red. He is very passionately in love with her and it shows in the color. He also only had to think of her to get such a huge stone, and although that's also due to the fact that he has such a powerful control over his alice, it's also impressive that just thinking of her yielded such results.

It is after this lecture that Mikan is finally made aware of the true meaning behind exchanging alice stones and the romantic significance it can carry. Anna and Nonoko explain that the romantic tradition is what inspires girls to give stones with their chocolates on Valentine’s Day, and that it can also connote a proposal of marriage.

Mikan freaks out now that she knows what she and Ruka essentially promised. Natsume can see that she’s freaking out, but because he saved himself this humiliation by rejecting Mikan’s stone, the only person he’d really be concerned for is Ruka, whose feelings he was initially protecting by not telling Mikan anything that night.

Before anything crazy can really happen, everyone starts the lesson and gets to work making their stones. Although Iinchou and Hotaru are more successful, making stones that can actually be seen and held without a microscope, the rest of Class B isn’t quite as skilled yet. They’re all exhausted from the effort, even if it only gave them pebbles as a result, and all somewhat embarrassed and depressed that they couldn’t make bigger stones.

So Tono suggests they play “Alice Stone in the Dark”, that is, that you find someone in the dark and when the lights come back on, you have to exchange stones. Class B only gets really into this idea at the concept of getting their hands on a useful alice to make the most of the possible combinations.

He has this expression for the whole scene. He's so cute when he's flustered.

Thus the game begins, and even Natsume participates, albeit reluctantly. He’s probably just trying to avoid other people and possibly being forced to exchange stones--because he’s not going to make one on the spot and he doesn’t want to give away the stone that rightfully belongs to Mikan.

It turns out luck is on his side, because someone grabs his hand and when the light comes back on, the person is Mikan! She smiles in relief that she was able to find him, and explains that she wanted to force her stone on him. She keeps blabbing on and he doesn’t say a single word the whole time, just standing there shocked because of all the people in the class, Mikan wanted to give her stone specifically to him.

He's never gonna lose that tiny pebble... this is one of the best things that's ever happened to him.

It’s tiny and practically unusable, but that doesn’t matter to him. This little pebble is enough for him. She wanted to give him her stone, because she cares about him, and that gesture is enough to finally spur Natsume into leaving her his alice stone by her bedroom window. It’s more or less anonymous, but he wants her to know that she is thoroughly loved too, even if she has no idea who loves her this much.

Chapter Seventy-Three

It’s Valentine’s Day, otherwise Hell on Earth for popular Alice Academy boys. The romantic and sweet ingredients for chocolates at a normal school are replaced with potions and chemicals and pranks. The more popular and beloved you are, the worse your experience on Valentine’s Day will be.

Mikan decides to give her chocolates to all her friends, but they make it clear to her that accepting chocolate from anyone less than your true love would be terribly risky and stupid, so even if she does give it to all her friends, they probably wouldn’t eat them.

Maybe I’m wrong, but Natsume, who’s looking through a Sanrio catalog, wouldn’t be all that bothered about being one of many to receive chocolate from her. She specifically selected him to receive her pathetic alice stone, after all, and he’s made peace with the fact that they can never be together.

He does get bothered later, however.

He’s hiding, because it’s Valentine’s Day and he’s incredibly popular. He has an overly passionate fan club and closet admirers from all over campus, so being out in the open is dangerous business. He stays in the vents for a while, and thus he witnesses Mikan giving Ruka some Valentine chocolate, asking him to be the first to accept them. They both escape the classroom, Mikan dropping a little baggy of chocolates as she goes.

Natsume drops down and decides that he will be the first to accept them, actually, and eats them. It’s not anything huge, and Mikan won’t even find out that he ate them until a year later, but for now, he’s just acting on his own. He can be selfish here because nobody else knows about it. It’s just a harmless little thing to make himself feel better, with absolutely no consequences. Besides, he finds the chocolate disgusting, so no harm no foul.

Natsume, she couldn't have asked you first, she didn't even know where you were!

The climax of the chapter happens when all the most popular boys in school: Tsubasa, Tono, Natsume, among others, are all running from a stampede of rabid and sadistic girls. They’re flinging chocolates willy-nilly, desperate to get a catch. One is heading right towards Mikan, so Natsume gets in the way, catching it just in time, right when a girl flings one into his mouth.

Natsume has just consumed a love potion chocolate, selflessly, for Mikan (this chapter is so silly), so of course he’s now infatuated with Tsubasa, who is terrified, because it’s embarrassing and because Natsume will be pissed when the potion wears off.

This is very romantic but very ridiculous. Natsume really does take protecting Mikan quite seriously.

More or less, since the love potion is like a pheromone extract, we can see how Natsume has changed in his reactions to such an alice. In the very first chapter, Natsume passed out entirely from the pheromones. Misaki explained that someone entirely inexperienced in romance would pass out immediately, but Natsume is no longer inexperienced, so there’s way more of an effect.

The chapter isn’t particularly important, especially compared to the alice stone one, but it’s a silly little break from the real drama.

Chapter Seventy-Four

The next two chapters are joint, forming the little “Elementary Graduation” arc. We find out that students are to remain at the academy until they are twenty years old, so Natsume wouldn’t have to just power through another seven years, but nine until he could truly be free, and that’s much harder to accomplish.

Anyway, Mikan has seen the senior graduation and is inspired to do something special for the elementary graduation. She doesn’t just want to sing a lame song, she wants to do a special performance! Thus begins the drama of Sumire bossing everyone around because she’s one of the only kids with any real musical talent in a class full of amateurs.

One such amateur proves to be Natsume, who confidently selects the sax to play. Everyone, so convinced that he is talented at everything, is shocked to see how horribly he plays his instrument. Class B gets more and more enraged with Sumire’s attitude, only in part because the only lackluster performer she won’t call out is Natsume, who plays the worst of all of them.

The class breaks in two, and Sumire decides that she will play solo with two other partners who are musically inclined, leaving everyone in the dust. They cheer up eventually, when Ruka leads the class in an impromptu playing session, where everyone prioritizes fun over sound. Even Natsume joins in with his sax, and he seems to be making progress.

It's not a mandatory project, but he wants to join in anyway. (At some point Ruka comments, "You've gotten quite attached to that sax, haven't you?" which is cute because it shows Natsume doesn't just want to fit in, he's also genuinely interested in that specific instrument. Anyway Natsume as a famous jazz performer--)

Natsume electing to join in is very interesting. He doesn’t have to do this, especially because he’s terrible at the sax. He’s choosing to have fun with everyone and learn something new, even if everyone can see how bad he is to start with. He’s finally allowing himself to make friends, not just with Mikan, but with the whole class. He’s in a different place than in the first few chapters. Sure, he still has a fan club and devoted followers, but instead of viewing them as vessels to pass the time at best and annoyances at worst, he now considers them his friends. He wants to spend time with them and have fun together. And, no it wouldn’t have happened without Mikan’s help, but Natsume had to accept the change. He helped go on a mission to save Iinchou and Hotaru, to help Class B, and ever since he’s been slowly getting more involved in class. His birthday in particular also highlighted that his classmates care genuinely about him, so it’s made him all the more willing to repay the favor.

Chapter Seventy-Five

Mikan wants the two rival factions to make up, specifically Sumire and Koko. Nothing she says is enough to inspire peace and she’s distraught that no progress is being made.

She sees Natsume and Ruka playing with fireworks for no reason. They can tell instantly that she’s still bothered about Permy’s falling out from the rest of the class. Last chapter, Ruka tried to help Mikan by cheering everyone up and starting a little music session. This chapter, Natsume gives her advice. He says all relationships have ups and downs, and Permy is just aggravating the situation because she’s a kid and doesn’t know better. They all care about each other; they just need time to figure it out. And besides, he says, it’s way more Mikan’s style to give them an excuse to make up rather than forcing them to communicate. This cheers Mikan up and she runs off to come up with an idea.

They haven't known each other for a full year even but he still knows her pretty well. How cute!

Ruka teases Natsume for watching her and being a stalker, and we can see that despite what Natsume said about all relationships going through fights every once in a while, Natsume and Ruka won’t be having a fight anytime soon, least of all over Mikan. They accept each other’s feelings and are just happy to be happy and crushing on a girl together.

And Natsume has been paying attention, clearly, because he always keeps his eye on Mikan. Of course, he does this to keep her safe, because she’s being used against him by the DA Class, but also because he loves her. He wants to know everything about her, and see her everyday, so naturally small things about her would click into place for him.

Later, when Mikan figures out how to make everyone make up, Natsume is one of the first people to step up and help Permy. He’s helping Mikan too, because what she wanted more than anything was for everyone to make up, and it will help give the rest of the class the courage to step up too. He loves her, so he’s willing to embarrass himself playing the sax to help her bring everyone together again.

Conclusion

Chapter Seventy-Six has almost no Natsume in it, and his few appearances are pretty unimportant. He doesn’t do or say anything, so I felt comfortable skipping it. Anyway, these little chapters showed just how much Natsume has changed since he met Mikan. He’s now involved with the class, willing to have fun and embarrass himself. He is much more like he was before the academy stole all his vivaciousness. Of course, he’ll never be that kid again. He’ll always be more mature and selfless than he should be, but at least he can smile and laugh with the others for now. In the next essay, we’ll see that happiness evaporate as the academy narrows in on Mikan.

I don't think I'll be able to post on Monday, sadly. I'll try to post next Friday instead to make up for it, and to keep up four-day-a-week posting. I don't want y'all to catch up to where I am quite yet, so I'm going to put in a lot of effort into writing as much as I can whenever I can over these next few weeks. Thanks for reading, beloveds.

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[fluffypeachwriting]

Hello again! I'm so glad to see your work again (I loved nemu's interviews and just went back to read them!) and I truly hope you're doing well!

And by the opportunity, could I possibly ask for a fem co-worker of Hitoya's helping him out during a stressful week at the office (for both of them) whatever you think it entails,

thank you so much for sharing your writing with us!

I’m glad you enjoyed Nemu’s interview, because it was really fun to do! It was nice to get a better feel for her character and how I’d write her. Me... I’ve been better, but I’m okay!  (o´▽`o)

I hope you enjoy this nice slice-of-life Hitoya scene! I’m still trying to get the hang of his personality, so forgive me for any ooc moments.  ( ´ ▿ ` ) I think Hitoya would be really nice to have as a co-worker.

You winced upon seeing the client storm out of Hitoya’s office. It was another one of those people who would never be happy, no matter what the outcome of their case was.

Just before the door closed, you caught a glimpse of Hitoya, sitting at his desk, and he didn’t look happy in the slightest. Finding him so downtrodden was sad, since he always worked so hard, and with the best intentions.

Having just finished what you urgently needed to do for the day, you took it upon yourself to cheer him up. Hitoya appreciated small gestures more than lavish gifts, especially at work, and you found yourself in the office kitchen before you knew what you were going to do. It was only 11AM, so it wasn’t really the appropriate time for whisky. Instead, you got up from your desk and headed to the kitchen to make him a coffee. You had had enough breaks together to recall his favourite coffee from memory: next to no milk, with a hint of vanilla syrup. You also took a few coffee biscuits for good measure.

You steeled yourself to enter the office, only to find Hitoya mumbling to himself once you stepped inside. He was close to putting his head in his hands.

“If there’s two things I hate, it’s –”

“– people who don’t listen, and cold coffee?” You said, trying to lighten the mood.

He looked up from his desk, and his face softened when he saw you. A small smile pricked at Hitoya’s mouth – you did something right.

“I can’t do anything about that client, but I hope this helps.” You set the coffee down on the desk. “Would you like some time alone?”

There was silence for a moment as Hitoya thought. He reclined in his seat, letting the cool air from the open window blow through the room. It felt like evening for a moment, and with how slow today was going, you really wished that was the case.

“No, you can stay. Your company’s nice.” He gestured to the chairs beside his desk.

“Woah, a compliment? It’s my lucky day.” It wasn’t often that Hitoya was keen on socialising during work hours, so you didn’t hesitate to sit down.

“Don’t push your luck. I hate to break it to you, but that client is about to be our client. You’re working on this case too, starting tomorrow.”

“Oh man… I mean…! Good to be working with you. I know we can get a good result!”

You did your best to hide your disappointment. Working with the general public wasn’t the easiest job, and both of you were fully acquainted with this unfortunate truth. However, Hitoya was close enough to you that he could see through your politeness too easily. He found it endearing when you first started, now it was just a way to avoid complaining about temperamental clients.

“Whatever result we get, it’s gonna be a tiring one. Either way, I won’t settle for failure.”

“Well… we can go out for coffee after we’re done with this case! I can pay, Hitoya.” It was the least you could offer in return for Hitoya’s motivation, which always showed itself, even in the face of the worst cases.

“It’ll take a while to get anywhere with this one – let’s go somewhere for lunch, today. And thanks for the idea.”

“You got it, boss!”

“Heh, ‘boss’? If you say so. We can call it for this morning.” He threw up his hands in defeat and gathered his things.

“Call it?”

“Get your coat.” Hitoya downed his coffee and stood up from his desk, “Let’s talk more somewhere else – and not about work. And another thing: I’m paying.” Hitoya said, matter-of-factly.

“C’mon, Boss. This case is both –”

“No work talk. Are you in the mood for sweet or savoury?”

“Give me some time to think. What are you in the mood for?”

Through the office and out the front door, you and Hitoya were deep in conversation about various lunch foods, already weary from this work week. It would be tough, but as long as Hitoya was there, you knew you could both make it out onto the other side in one piece.

[kali-writes-meta]

Oscar and Ironwood Part 2: The Toxic Bromance

I apologise for taking so long to post this essay. Recent events haven't been conducive to a contemplative state of mind. In Part 1 I covered the pile of rather ominous foreshadowing of Oscar and Ironwood's relationship, now let's see how it actually played out.

Oscar and Ironwood's relationship has the rhythm of a toxic bromance story. Ironwood is pining for someone else to come sweep him off his feet, and he gets Oscar instead. Ironwood makes no bones about the fact that he would prefer Ozpin, and spends their every moment together trying to turn Oscar into Ozpin. Then, at a dramatic moment, Oscar saves Ironwood by doing something that Ozpin would never do, proving that Oscar is the better man for this moment. And does Ironwood thank him? No, he's still too busy pining for Ozpin, unable to appreciate the man standing in front of him. Finally, Oscar makes one last attempt to reach Ironwood, who cruelly dumps him. It's a perfect example of a toxic bromance.

But, maybe I'm wrong. There are people who say that the final scene with Oscar and Ironwood in Volume 7 had Ironwood acting completely different from how he had previously acted towards Oscar. I didn't see that big of a difference, but maybe I missed something. Let's look at every single interaction between the two characters and see what we find.

When they first meet Ironwood warmly greets a bunch of people he hasn't seen in over a year, but doesn't ask about the one stranger in the group. It's a small incivility that could be put down to the stress of discussing highly classified information, if he didn't then proceed to discuss highly classified information in front of a COMPLETE STRANGER. Whether you see it as an etiquette failure or a security failure or both, it's clearly a failure.

Ironwood announces a new plan that will undo and replace Ozpin's plan, since Ozpin is gone and he has to use his "best judgement". Then he is introduced to the strange kid as "the next Ozpin" (Really, Qrow? You could have worded it better than that.)

Ironwood is overjoyed. He smiles broadly and quickly races to Oscar's side, even going down on one knee in front of him, at the thought that Oscar might not really be Oscar.

Let's pause on the kneeling bit. Who is Ironwood kneeling for? One kneels before a child, one's lover, or one's monarch. Ironwood might be kneeling before the child Oscar, but he NEVER kneels before Oscar again, so he's not kneeling for the child. He's kneeling before a lover or a monarch. I highly doubt it's for a lover, and "monarch" seems closer to how he was treating Ozpin earlier. But it is definitely someone for whom Ironwood feels a passionate bond. There's no doubt that this is the most emotional we have seen Ironwood to this date.

After Ironwood goes down on one knee, he learns that this is not the Wizard he has been looking for. Ozpin.exe has gone offline, and only Oscar is at home.

Ironwood is crushed. Instead of responding to Oscar's introduction and without saying a single word to the young man he's just been introduced to he looks away from him,

turns his back on Oscar,

and walks away!

If one of the main cast had been that rude to Oscar we still wouldn't have heard the end of it, but for some reason Ironwood gets a free pass.

Ironwood: Ozpin told us that too, once upon a time. (turning to face them) At least we have you, Oscar. You're safe here in Atlas. Maybe together we can figure out how to bring Ozpin back.

That's an interesting statement. Notice he still hasn't exchanged pleasantries with Oscar. He's saying that Oscar is safe, but he's not saying that he will take care of Oscar or do anything at all for him, except "figure out how to bring Ozpin back". He's setting the terms of their relationship at the start. He doesn't see Oscar as his own person, but only as an obstacle he has to get through to reach Ozpin.

Note the discrepancy between Ironwood's tone and his wording. Research has shown that some people pay more attention to tone than they do to word choice, so when there's a discrepancy between tone and wording they'll give more weight to the tone and dismiss the actual words. (It's a valuable tool for unscrupulous salesmen and con artists.) Ironwood's tone is warm and friendly towards Oscar and apparently it fooled some viewers, but his words are much cooler and less friendly.

Oscar notices the discrepancy, and it confuses him. He responds first to the warm tone and then to the cool wording.

Oscar: (grinning) Thank you, sir. (stands at attention) I mean, uh, general. Uh, Ironwood? (smiling awkwardly)

At this point their relationship is spelled out. Ironwood is deeply disappointed and dissatisfied that Oscar isn't Ozpin, and is going to try his best to turn Oscar into Ozpin. Oscar, responding to Ironwood's warm tone, is going to do his best to cooperate for Ironwood's sake. Ironwood's stance reminds me of what was said to another Atlesian back in Volume 1:

Port: "So the outcome did not fall in your favor. ...(I)nstead of fretting about what you don't have, savor what you do. Hone your skills, perfect every technique, and be... the best person you can be."

Ironwood is fretting about what he doesn't have. He isn't interested in helping Oscar be the best Oscar he can be. Ironwood just wants to turn Oscar into Ozpin as fast as possible.

We see the difference in the two mens' attitudes play out in the mine clearing story. Oscar expresses concern about how they are treating Ironwood.

Oscar: Ruby, hiding things from Ironwood, doesn't that feel like what Ozpin did to us?

But Ironwood shows a lack of concern for Oscar by not inviting Oscar to a surprise party Ironwood throws for Oscar's friends. If he was concerned for Oscar, why not invite him? But if Ironwood's only concern is turning Oscar into Ozpin, it makes sense that he would not even think to invite the young man. Such an action would not serve Ironwood's purpose, so why do it?

Later, Ironwood begins training Oscar.

Ironwood: You might not hear Oz anymore, Oscar, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try to jog him loose.

Once again, Ironwood's tone of voice is warm and friendly, but his words are not. Notice that Ironwood doesn't say that he is training Oscar for Oscar's benefit. His sole stated reason for training Oscar is to "jog (Ozpin) loose". Ironwood has a good reason for believing this sparring technique will work to bring out Ozpin, but that topic deserves an essay of its own, so I'll cover it separately later. However, it doesn't work to jog Ozpin loose. Instead it helps Oscar improve and make more friends, to become more "the best Oscar he can be."

When sparring doesn't work to turn Oscar into Ozpin Ironwood falls back on the classic trope of the lovesick swain, he shows the substitute the special place where he and his idol made special memories.

Ironwood: I hoped bringing you down here might jog some memories.

This interaction is the third time that we've seen Ironwood speak to Oscar, and it's the third time he's said he wants to turn Oscar into someone else. There's no canon evidence that they have any other relationship at this point.

But, I can hear some people saying, how is this different from what the main cast did to Oscar? Didn't they treat him like a walking meat suit as well? It's true that in a fit of rage Jaune accused Oscar of being Ozpin in disguise, but he quickly dropped the delusion and apologized to Oscar at the next opportunity, and that was the end of it. There's never been another time when they have treated Oscar as if he was Ozpin when Oscar was in control of his own body. Ironwood is a different story. He persists in trying to turn Oscar into Ozpin.

For the third time, his tone of voice is warm and friendly, but his words are all about how he doesn't want to be here with Oscar. He wants to be with someone else. He seems to look forward to a day when he believes Oscar will be gone and Ozpin will stand in his place (in spite of all the evidence to the contrary) to Oscar's noticable discomfort.

Oscar: It feels strange, knowing that part of me helped come up with all this.

Ironwood: You’ll get used to it, I’m sure. Eventually, you won’t even know who’s who anymore.

Then, in that special spot, Ironwood tells Oscar his dream for the two of them.

Ironwood: We... didn’t always see eye to eye, but... I wish I could ask Ozpin what he thought of all of this.

As is common with lovesick swains, Ironwood is looking at the past through rose-tinted glasses. They didn't merely not "always see eye to eye". Ironwood was constantly arguing with Ozpin, keeping secrets from Ozpin (Penny), and going behind Ozpin's back to undercut Ozpin's authority (taking over the Vytal Festival). It's doubtful how much he would listen to Ozpin if Ozpin was there, but Ironwood is still making himself heartsick imagining the encouragement that Ozpin would give him. (You can tell he's viewing the past tinted with nostalgia, because if Ozpin were really there Ironwood would be getting a tongue-lashing.)

Imagine how dehumanizing this must feel to Oscar. It's entirely to the young man's credit that he does what he does next.

Oscar: Well, I can tell you what I think. The path you’re heading down where you’re the only one with the answers, where you do the thing you think is right no matter the cost, it’s not going to take you anywhere good.

Oscar has been giving Ironwood what he thinks Ironwood wants, to no avail. Now he gives Ironwood what Oscar thinks Ironwood needs.

And it seems to help Ironwood open up a little bit.

Ironwood: We have to stop Salem. Nothing matters more.

Oscar: Some things matter more, I think. Keeping our humanity. It’s what makes us different from her.

Ironwood: Sometimes I worry that’s her greatest advantage. Without humanity, does she still feel fear? Does she ever hesitate? When Salem hit Beacon, even with all my ships, all of my soldiers... I was no match for her. I’ve never felt so helpless. The way she told me she was there.

Oscar: It’s okay to be afraid. You just can’t let that fear control you.

Ironwood: I am not going to end up with Lionheart. Do you believe in me?

Oscar: I do believe in you, but not only you. I think the best thing you could do is sit down and talk with the people you’re most afraid to.

And how does Ironwood express his gratitude for Oscar's help?

Ironwood: (chuckles) Now you are starting to sound like him.

By denying Oscar's humanity once again.

Then comes Jacques' ball --, er, dinner party. Oscar is worried about what will happen to Ironwood there.

Oscar: Ironwood's going to be locked in a room at his rival's own dinner party. I know Jacques says he's happy to moderate, but all that really means is he'll be the one controlling the conversation.

Ironwood doesn't appear to show the same concern for Oscar, but drags the young man along into a potentially dangerous situation. Why? It's not for anyone's entertainment. It's not so Oscar can testify before the Council, which is the excuse for bringing the others. Oscar's secrets are not ones that Ironwood wants out. The only plausible reason left is so that a 14 year old kid can provide a world leader with advice and emotional support.

To everyone's surprise, that's what happens.

Jacques' treason and Watts' shenanigans come to the surface, culminating in a simultaneous cyber attack with a major DOS, riot, and Grimm invasion. Ironwood freezes in the clinch, unable to decide what to do.

Clover: Sir, we need ground support now.

Robyn: What we need is to start evacuating Mantle. If it's completely overrun, it's not going to be safe anywhere. Use the fleet to get--

Ironwood: If I move the fleet, then Atlas is vulnerable. I… I tried to keep the kingdom safe. And now we're losing everything.

It's Oscar that comes to Ironwood's rescue.

Oscar: General? Earlier, you asked for my advice.

Ironwood: I wanted Ozpin's advice.

Ouch. For the fourth time, Ironwood shows that he sees Oscar as nothing but a poor substitute for Ozpin. But then Oscar shines.

Oscar: And his advice probably would've been to keep your secrets. When we first got here, you already knew that wasn't the right course. You had a new plan.

Ironwood: It's time to give up on that plan. It's all falling apart.

Oscar: The panic you were worried about? It's already happening. The secrets you're keeping? They're about to be in the open anyway. It's time. Tell the truth.

Here is where Oscar does what Ozpin couldn't do, proving that he's not just a second-rate substitute for the real thing. This time he was better than Ozpin.

At this point Oscar has just pulled Ironwood's fat out of the fire, and what does he get? The only thanks Ironwood gives him since they first met, right before Oscar is literally told to go to his room.

Ironwood: Thank you. Oscar, I think it's time you get back to the Academy.

Afterwards Oscar tells Ruby, "He's finally choosing the truth over fear. We should do the same" and with her permission tells Ironwood the rest of the story.

Ironwood -- some folks think he took the news well. I don't. That looks to me like monumental "just this side of throwing up" shock, to be followed by monumental rage. As upsetting as he finds the news of Salem's immortality, he's even more upset that his adored hero kept secrets from him.

Ironwood: (distraught) Why? Why would Oz keep this from us? From the people who trusted him?

(You mean the person who went behind his back and undermined his authority?)

Oscar: He was worried you would lose hope. We're sorry we kept it from you, too. We didn't know who to trust. I figured you should know before you make any… sacrifices.

It's Oscar who prods Ironwood away from his pain and back to the present.

Oscar: Sir? What are you gonna do?

Ironwood: I… (collects himself) All we can do for the moment is what we can to save Mantle. That's what's in front of us.

Oscar: (smiling) He'd be proud of you. You're bringing the hope that Atlas was meant to inspire. A city in the sky is held to a higher standard.

Ironwood: You say that... like you were ther--

One again, the only compliment Ironwood can give Oscar, even after Oscar has done what Ozpin couldn't do, is to tell him he sounds like Ozpin. The man needs to work on some new lines.

Oscar goes back to JNPR's room with an escort of robot guards. Ironwood goes to deal with the crisis, and makes a good show until Cinder and Salem rattle him. The good news is that his monumental shock subsides. The bad news is that it's followed by monumental rage.

In the middle of a battle Ironwood decides to arrest the allies whom he now considers questionable, instead of using the age-old tactic of dealing with such a problem by sending them to the front line. (You can tell these boys haven't fought a war in a while.) He sends an Army unit to capture a same-sized Marines unit, and things go as well as could be expected. Meanwhile Neo goes to retrieve the Lamp of Knowledge, currently in Oscar's possession, from Oscar and JNR, and things go as well as could be expected.

Then in the middle of the Great Escape, Oscar turns back to try one last time to do what Ozpin couldn't do and would no longer have tried to do -- talk sense into Ironwood. Talking sense into Ironwood is something Ozpin had been failing at since Volume 2, and going by what he said to Oscar about Hazel during the Battle of Haven, "He's wounded in a way that cannot be healed", we can safely say that by now Ozpin would have given up on Ironwood as a lost cause. But, just like with Hazel, Oscar is going to try.

Their sixth and final interaction starts with Ironwood repeating basically what he said in the other five interactions, another variation on, " Are you Ozpin yet?" Even after Oscar has done for him what Ozpin wouldn't do, he still wants Ozpin over Oscar.

Ironwood: And... whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with?

Oscar: Still just me.

Then the conversation takes a different turn. Ironwood knows he's crossed a line, and he knows Oscar knows. The warm and friendly tone is gone. But Oscar tries to de-escalate the situation.

Ironwood: It was smart of you not to bring the Lamp down here. I wouldn’t trust me either right now.

Oscar: Trust is what I’m hoping to fix. I know we can still figure this out, all of it, together. Please.

Ironwood: Do you intend to fight me?

Oscar: No. That’s exactly what she wants.

Note that Ironwood anticpates a beating for what he's done. As the adult in a room with a teenage boy, HE should be the one pointing out the importance of not being bullied, manipulated, or coerced into doing anything stupid. Instead it's the teenage boy's job to point it out to him.

I've posted about this conversation in detail before, so I just want to make three points this time. The first point is that Ironwood's refusal to admit he's afraid is what triggers his violence.

Ironwood: You still think I’m afraid?

Oscar: We all are. It’s what we do in our fear that reveals--

Ironwood: That’s easy for you to say!

The second point is that Oscar finally understands what Ozpin meant about some people being "wounded in a way that can't be healed." Whether he agrees with Ozpin is something we'll find out in Volume 8, but he understands Ozpin better now.

Finally we have the end of Ironwood's toxic bromance with Oscar. And just as he did at the beginning, he insists on being the one to set the terms.

Ironwood: I am done letting others’ inability to see the big picture get in the way of doing what’s right. Robyn, the council, this kingdom... even you.

Oscar: Then you’re as dangerous as she is, James.

Ironwood: James is what my friends call me. To you… it’s General.

That's pretty much the way I saw it play out while watching the episodes in real time. I missed the discrepancy in tone and word choice the first time around; in my defense I'm a Southerner and used to hearing violent death threats dripping from honeyed lips. But I saw no discrepancy in Ironwood's behavior from beginning to end. He always wanted Oscar to be someone he wasn't, and when it became clear that Oscar was never going be what he wanted Oscar to be, Ironwood threw him away like a petulant child throwing away a broken toy. This wasn't the man I wanted Ironwood to be, but it's the same man we've seen since the beginning -- brave, charming, intelligent, and fatally short-sighted.

[compo67]

Hockey talk. You've been warned. XD

I'm still not over Bishop's retirement. I was really hoping he'd do well in the AHL. For him to give up 8 goals in his last game. Ugh. Not the way I wanted him to go. He's my first major retirement since I got into hockey and it was so oddly emotional and somehow uplifting? I hope he coaches. I hope Otter and Dobby (and Holtby, okay) call him for pointers every now and then.

I like the Otter Holtby tandem. I think putting Holtby in for STL was a good call. But it was a goalie game, for the most part, until the refs royally fucked us over in the last 2 minutes. The last 2 minutes of any game is the most stressful. In hockey, you think you've got it, you're winning, you've held your ground. And in a matter of seconds it just goes to shit. You spent 60 minutes clawing your way to a lead only for it to go to hell. And when it goes to shit because of officiating??? Fuck, that hurts.

I'm not saying we didn't struggle. The Stars have always struggled with offense. But we were the better team. Miro was grabbed and it should've been a penalty. Game should've stopped right there.

I can't believe we best Crosby and Co only to fall to the damn Blues.

Switching gears, Seggy is finding his groove. That precious bean. What a precious bean he is. I'm so glad he's back on a line with Benn. It feels like they had a break up and now they're back together. I love when Benn gets physical. He's been checking like a beast. I want to imagine that Seggy had a long talk w him about respecting trans women athletes and Benn finally got his head straight. That's my head canon and I'm sticking to it.

I can't imagine how frustrating this season is for Rads. I wonder if he's struggling with an injury? This is so unlike him and I miss his cellies.

Pavs and Sons is, of course, still on fire. Robo is the most adorable when he scores. And I can't forget Pavs' little "woo!"s too. It just amazes me how the three of them are so in sync with each other. And I love to see Pavs tip the puck in. That hand eye coordination, God damn.

I'm still not impressed with Suter. He's had a few moments, but ehh. I wish Kivi would have more time on ice. I think Guri and Klinger have improved a lot, but need to be more consistent. Still too many give aways.

And Mirooooo. Talk about consistent. It's like he's been off his groove for a while. Maybe that cold really got to him. I still think he's one of the most talented defenseman in the league.

Bones got fined 25k for his anger issues. Yikes. I get it, the outcome was awful, but do you really need to be that upsetti spaghetti?? Bro.

We finally play the Kraken on Wednesday. Hiiiiii Jamie. I hope it's an exciting game. The kraken are off to a slow start, so hopefully we can have a win.

I'm pleased to see the Bruins won against the Caps tonight. And not just won, but fucking murdered with 7 to 3. Ha! Suck an egg, Ovi!

I am gonna rewatch the Wild v Stars game tomorrow. I just love that game so much. One of the best of our season.

Okay. Hockey madness met. ❤️

[colorfullfalls]

I will protect you part 1

Embry Call x reader

Grocery shopping was not your least favorite thing to do, but it was needed. You had been on a health kick and tried to eat healthier after you started going to the gym. You noticed a young man around your age had been closely behind you the whole time while shopping, but you ignored it. It was a busy place and there was no need to be weird about it.

You went to grab the same bag of chips at the same time, prompting an awkward laugh out of the both of you.

"My bad, go ahead." The boy said with a charming chuckle as he stepped back.

You paused to take a good look at him. He look oddly familiar. Brown eyes, brown hair, tan skin, tall. He looked like your boyfriend and his pack mates, by you knew he wasn't a wolf. You hadn't seen him prior to this encounter.

"Grocery store daze am I right? I'm y/n by the way."

"Nice to meet you, it's Wiley."

"Nice to meet you too."

After that day you would see Wiley more and more. It got the point that you had to mention it to your boyfriend.

Embry came over to your small apartment to hangout but mostly to fix your old blazer. The check engine light came on and your mechanic boyfriend wanted to check it out as soon as possible.

You sat in the yard in a lawn chair as he laid below the vehicle. Grease ran down his tan toned arm, making your heart swell. Even after years of dating he still make your heart race and he only got more attractive.

Embry talked about how his day went as he worked tentatively. You listened and added in when you thought necessary. Your mind was clouded by the new stranger that seemed everywhere you went. He seemed harmless really, but why was he following you? He was at the stores, the gym, even in your work a few times within the past month.

You were starting to grow paranoid. You wanted to tell Embry but you feared how he would react. The wolves were overprotective over their imprints and this would drive him mad. He would surely hunt down Wiley. At the same time you were scared. This dude showed up out of nowhere and now is seemingly everywhere you go.

If you didn't tell Embry and something happened, he would be really upset with you. What better person to protect you from a potential stalker than the love of your life that conveniently can shift into a intimidating wolf.

"Y/n? Are you even listening to me?"

You snapped out of your thoughts and looked to see Em wiping his hands off on an old red rag, "I fixed it."

"Thanks babe. Im sorry I wasn't paying complete attention. I really appreciate that. I appreciate everything you do for me."

Embry smiled before reaching down to give you a quick kiss, "I'd do anything for you, lovie." He began bending down to collect his tools.

You blushed and stood up, debating internally on whether to tell him or not. He deserved to know. It was a matter that was pressing. You leaned against the Blazer and crossed your arms.

"If I tell you something, promise not to go wolf mode?"

Embry's body tensed up. He knew that whatever you had to say wasn't going to appeal to him. You never really joke about him going all out wolf. Also you were more clingy than usual, which he wasn't complaining, but you kept asking for him to stay over.

"You can't start with that."

"Please"

Embry turned to you and let his eyes take you in. You seem stressed out and worried. He hoped it was from nothing that he had done. He was beginning to feel panicked.

"hun, whatever it is, tell me. You are starting to really freak me out right now."

"About a month ago I saw this random guy around our age. We grabbed at the same thing and we introduced ourselves. His name is Wiley. Anyway I keep seeing him everywhere I go like to the point that it is uncanny. He shows up to stores that I am at, the gym, and he will come into the flower shop when I'm working. I swear I even have seen his car go past here."

Embry began breathing heavily, "He's stalking you?"

"I don't know- i mean maybe. He seems nice so I don't really know what to think. It's just that I'm a paranoid person and its happening so much that it seems planned." You stopped as something dawned on you.

"what? What is it?"

"The other day fresh flowers were picked and were sitting in my porch. Was that you who did it?"

Embry shook his head no and gripped his hands into fists "I'll beat his ass if he even gets near you again. I'll put an end to this."

"This is what I was afraid of! I don't want you to hurt him."

"Baby, he's stalking you! He found your house and picked flowers! That's trespassing! Who knows what he will do? Until we get this figured out, you're staying at my place."

"That I agree with..." You walked closer and wrapped your arms around his torso. You were scared and wanted comfort from the person who gave it to you the best. This issue had been on your mind for weeks.

He snugly held you, his hands rubbing your back affectionately, "why didnt you tell me about this earlier?"

"I didn't want to upset you. I didn't think much of it until his truck slowly went by the other week. That's why I've been spending so many nights with you. You just make me feel safe." Your voice cracked, your eyes refusing to meet the warm brown ones that are your home.

He kissed the top of your head, "I will always keep you safe, babylove."

Together you two packed a few bags to take over to his shared house with Jacob. When arriving Embry had you go take a soothing bath because those always calmed you down.

Embry explained the situation to Jacob, a few growls leaving his throat at the thought of some creep tracking you down. His pure and beautiful imprint was being followed and that pissed him off to the very core. You were his lover to protect. He kept you safe from supernatural creatures and he would be dammed if it was a human that got to you. Jacob was understanding and vowed to help put an end to it all.

Jacob left to go see his imprint, Heather, so it was just you and Embry in the house. You put on embrys large t-shirt and walked into the livingroom to see him laying on the couch. He lazily opened his arms so that you could snuggle in with him.

"I feel utterly relaxed, as if nothing in the world could bother me... I thought maybe it was because I wasn't home alone, but it's not that. It's you. Being around you takes away all my problems and fears." You confessed, fingers tapping against his bare chest.

He blushed, hurrying his face into your neck, "Im glad. You know, it's the imprint bond. You feel it too, just not as strong."

"no, I think it's as strong."

He scoffed, rubbing circles on your hip, "you have no idea how much I love you. My heart literally beats for you, y/n. It has since we were kids."

Now it was your turn to blush. You knew embry before he turned into a wolf, you actually had known him since you were born. Your mom's were life long best friends and that prompted you two being together all of the time.

Embry was your rock growing up, your best friend. Years spent with him made you slowly realize that you loved him. Neither of you would admit it until he imprinted on you. It seemed that Billy Black, your dad, and Harry Clearwater had bet on it happening since you guys were toddlers. It evident that you two were made for one another.

"You're my world, Em."

He hummed in agreement. He nudged your hand and you knew what he was up to. A grin made its way onto his face as you slid your hand under his shirt, letting it run up and down his back.

"You're a spoiled boyfriend." You mumbled, scratching his back lightly.

He sighed in contentment, "I'm aware. And I thank my ancestors for it everyday.... I don't know what my life would be like if something happened to you and I didn't have you anymore."

"Don't even think about that kind of thing."

Embry slightly pulled away. He stood up and walked to the window.

"Em-"

"quiet." He put his finger up to silence you.

Your heart sank for a second at his tone but realized he was trying to watch something out the window. Something that had his full attention because he failed to sense you coming up beside him.

He noticed you and pulled you closer to his side. The light blue truck was parked across the road and there sat Wiley inside it. Your heart stopped.

"Embry, I know what you're thinking, but don't. I fear being left alone." You said, tightly grabbing his hand.

"And what? Continue to let him do this shit? He is right there, babe. I am going to confront him right now before he has the chance to slip away."

As he fumbled around the dimly lit room to put shoes on, you were shaking. You feared the outcome of this situation. Embry was level headed but when it came to your safety and well-being he wasn't. you hoped Wiley would be gone before Embry got outside.

[shi-daisy]

Black Moon Rising Pt. 2

Welcome back everyone! Here's part 2 of this lil' AU fic. It was gonna be longer but I already went pass the deadline for like 40 min. So I'll just continue it in the final prompt it the week. Hope you like!

@ulquihimeweek

Ulquihime Week- Day 6- Sacrifice/Possession

Black Moon Rising (Pt.2)

"Inoue, what have you done?!" Ichigo asked in disbelief.

"I did what I had to. Ulquiorra was going to die, and I saved him. That's all that matters."

"All that matters?! Have you looked at yourself?! You're a hollow now!"

"And so were you."

Ichigo looked hurt, but she didn't care. Back at Karakura, she had the same expression whenever they pushed her out of the fight. This time the tables were turned.

"That's not the same, and you know it."

"Is it now? Because if I recall correctly you brutalized Ulquiorra in ways far more horrifying than any of us could imagine, you tried to desecrate his body, you stabbed Ishida-kun when he stopped you, and you were about to kill me before Ulquiorra broke your mask and redirected the cero onto himself.

That's quite different from holding a conversation like we are doing now." She smiled venomously. This change seemed to be bringing out all of the negative emotions that she kept hidden for years. It was relishing.

"I went into that form to protect you! You called for help, I couldn't do anything so my hollow took over."

Orihime rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, you're everyone's hero!" she sarcastically imitated her old self. "Spare me Ichigo, you didn't go into your hollow form to protect us, you did it because you lost, and you can't endure a loss!"

That got a rise out of the redhead, Uryu held him back. "Inoue, we all came here to save you! What happened wasn't ideal, but Kurosaki was just trying to help."

"Funny how you defend him after almost getting cut open, Ishida-kun.

I didn't ask anyone to come for me, the sole reason I came to Hueco Mundo was to protect everyone! But you couldn't understand that, could you? Inoue's the defenseless princess in the tower, so she must be rescued! We need to step into enemy territory without a plan, and fight everything in a ten-mile radius to save Inoue!

Well, that's done. We've all had our fights and your brushes with death, but I am finally safe. I won't return to Karakura, this form is now permanent, and I have no doubts that the shinigami will have me executed. The Orihime Inoue you knew is gone forever. Leave, tell the others I am dead, and don't return to Hueco Mundo. I won't ask nicely again."

Ichigo's anger was redirected at Ulquiorra. "You! You did this to Inoue!"

"I'm afraid you're mistaken Kurosaki. This transformation was the woman's choice, not mine. Unlike you, I believe she's wise enough to choose what's best for herself."

The shinigami prepared to attack him, but instead of clashing his blade with Ulquiorra's he was stopped by Orihime.

Upon transforming, she'd also gained a zanpakuto, her Rikka's powers had been transferred into it, and the shape of the hilt matched that of her hairpins.

“Don’t you dare touch him!” she growled.

“I’m not going to let darkness take you, Orihime. I’ll defeat whatever took possession of you and we’ll all go back home together.”

“You don’t get to decide for me. Not anymore.” From the moment she woke up, Orihime felt a shift taking place within her. Her body and soul had both changed, and this final disregard for her desires was the final nail in the coffin.’ All anyone ever saw me as was the damsel in distress, not even capable of choosing my own fate. Those days are now over.’

“Woman, do you require my assistance?”Ulquiorra asked her.

She smiled at him. “I shall fight alone, If it’s not too much trouble, could you please take Ishida-kun somewhere safe? I don’t intend to hold back.”

“Understood.”

She teleported both herself and Ichigo away from the scene. The shinigami looked ready to fight, but the moment she attacked he restored to blocking. Ichigo didn’t attack her.

‘The moron still thinks I can’t fight.’

Her eyes darkened, now gold over onyx, Orihime charged a cero into her sword. One strike of her blade all it took to break Ichigo’s zanpakuto.

“You’re out of weapons Kurosaki. I’ll let you go if you swear to leave me be.”

Instead of retreating Ichigo stood his ground. “I won’t leave you.I swore to bring you back home safe, and that’s what I’ll do!"

“You really can’t take a fucking hint, can you?!"

She raised her palm towards him, firing a golden cero. Ichigo tried to evade it, but without his Bankai, he was not fast enough. Ichigo kneeled, half of his body was bloody and mangled due to the blast, but he could survive those injuries.

“Last warning. Surrender or I will detach your head from your body.”

“I won’t! I won’t let Ulquiorra get away with what he did to you! I will save you even if I have to kill him again!"

Orihime would have just rendered him unconscious, had it not been for the threat he made against Ulquiorra, Orihime looked him in the eye directly, her gaze was steel and it seemed like in his final moments Ichigo finally understood she did this out of her own accord. Sadly, it was too late, A delicate strike of her blade cut through him, his eyes remained opened, full of realization, but also lifeless.

Orihime cleaned the blood off her sword with one stroke. ‘At long last, It’s over.’

***

There were many outcomes he had expected from the battle, seeing Orihime return to las Noches with the head of Kurosaki Ichigo was not one of them. Soon after arriving she had fainted and he took her to his room and had one of the medics look at her.

As predicted, Orihime woke up a day later. Her wounds were fully healed, and she was happy to see him as well.��

“What happened after the battle?” she asked.

"Lord Aizen has won. He's the new Soul King, but I'm afraid your old town has been destroyed."

She looked sad, but didn't weep. "I see."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. This was bound to happen."

"If you feel rested enough, we were summoned to the throne room. It's urgent."

"Okay. Let's go."

The walk to the throne room was silent, yet pleasant. Orihime held his hand, and he returned the gesture. It seemed she was fond of the gesture.

Before coming into the throne room he ran into the medic that examined Orihime.

"Hello Cuarta, I see Inoue-sama is healthy." The blue haired woman extended her hand to Orihime. "Nice to meet you, my name's Jeanne Dae, I was your medic."

"Nice to meet you too, Jeanne-san. Thanks for taking care of me."

"My pleasure, I must warn you both, Lady Anna has asked for you specifically and she's slightly stressed. Best not to piss her off."

"Um, I hate to come of as ignorant but who is Anna?"

"Lord Aizen's wife. She's his second in command now and also Soul Queen. Just be polite and you'll be fine. Best of luck!"

Once the medic Arrancar left, they stepped into the throne room. He was surprised to see Halibel and her fracción there resting. Nnoitra was also there talking to Anna. She looked to be angry.

"Nnoitra, I swear, if keep pestering me I shall rip out your remaining eyeball and make you eat it!"

That made the whole room grow silent.

Orihime was slightly intimidated. Anna was six feet tall, with pale skin, black curly hair, and cold blue eyes. Those worries subsided when the woman spotted both her and Ulquiorra.

"Cuarta! You're still as handsome as ever! And you must be Orihime Inoue. I'm Anna María, it's nice to finally meet ya."

"Hello Lady Anna, it's nice to meet you too."

"I'll be quick since I'm sure you both want to rest. Now that Sosuke has finally achieved his goals we won't be returning to Las Noches. I want the both of you to rule over Hueco Mundo."

They were both surprised. Ulquiorra spoke first. "With all due respect, why would you chose us out of the remaining Arrancar?"

"Simple. You and Inoue-san were the ones who finally took down Kurosaki. He was Soul Society's triumph card and I'm certain that if he had lived the outcome of our plans would've changed. The two of you are the most powerful among our ranks and took down our greatest foe. It's only natural to have you take over. What do you say?"

Orihime felt a little uncertain, she had never taken a leadership role before, but the offer was tempting.

Ulquiorra was indifferent to the offer, still he would accept if only to keep order in Las Noches. Without Aizen some of the Arrancar might go unhinged again.

"I'm willing to accept the offer, but I'd like insurance that you, or Lord Aizen will provide us with assistance if necessary."

"You have my word, Cuarta. Inoue-san, what about you?"

"I never considered myself a leader, yet this is an opportunity I don't want to waste. I'll give it my all."

"Excellent! I knew I could count on you both. Now, there's a slightly more personal matter I must address.

Some of your friends for Karakura survived, I can relocate then to Naruki City and give them fake memories of a nuclear explosion occuring in Karakura. This way they'll safe and fully taken care of. Is that alright."

Anna handed her a tablet with pictures. She recognized Tatsuki, Keigo, Mizuiro, Chizuru, Michiru, Ryuuken, and Don Kannonji. Those were the only survivors.

"Yes. Please make sure they're taken care of, just...don't let them know I am alive. I'd prefer it if they all thought of me as dead."

"Consider it done. Finally, Yasutora Sado and Uryu Ishida are locked up in the dungeons, if you authorize it, I shall free them and get them the aforementioned services in Naruki City."

"Yes please do so."

"Alrighty then, I think that's everything. I'll be returning to my other duties, you're dismissed."

With that the tall woman left them and went back to her duties. Ulquiorra noticed she was holding her zanpakuto. 'No doubt she's been ordered to carry out executions.'

"Next on the list it's that Kuchiki Captain...Hmm maybe I'll choke him with that dumb scarf of his." Anna was walking away towards the cells. A reckless idea crossed Orihime's mind.

"Wait Anna-san! May I be granted permission to visit Ishida and Sado?"

Anna was skeptical but allowed it anyway. "Yes, of course. I'll escort you."

***

Ulquiorra waited in the entrance to the dungeons. He knew Inoue was capable of handling herself yet he felt uneasy.

"You're jealous the princesa wants to visit those other men."

Grimmjow appeared from the shadows, it seemed Anna had him as a guard.

"What do you want Sexta?" he asked.

"Nothing. Just heard you and Orihime are the new rulers of Hueco Mundo. I'd congratulate ya but I don't think you find that new role appealing."

"That's unimportant. I took the task because it clear that the others wouldn't be able to properly carry it out."

Grimmjow grinned. "Uh-huh, and what about your mate? She probably did it so that Anna wouldn't chop her human friends to pieces."

Those words bothered him. "The woman isn't my mate."

"She turned into a hollow to save ya, and even ripped Kurosaki to pieces. That screams protective mate to me.

Yer' right though, it's not my business what you two do. Just pray she doesn't change her mind. The girl is too far gone to go back."

***

Orihime let them rage and yell before saying a single thing. After their anger faded she spoke.

"I need you both to stay calm. Ishida-kun your father is alive and will be given proper housing and employment in Naruki City as will most of your friends and as will you. Just let Anna escort you there and do not tell the others of my real fate. For all they know, Kurosaki and I were victims of the fake accident."

"...I don't believe this! You expect us to keep quiet?! Tatsuki was a wreck over losing you, she won't accept it, she'll know it's a lie!"

"Then make her believe it! You're a smart guy Uryu, she will listen to you, the memories are better than..."

"Than knowing what you turned into and what you did to Kurosaki?" Chad asked.

Orihime hit the wall in frustration, it almost fell apart. "He threatened to kill Ulquiorra!" she yelled. "I wasn't going to kill him, I was going to leave him slightly messed up and let him go home when the war ended, but he threatened Ulquiorra. I couldn't let him kill him again. I just... couldn't."

Her friends demeanor changed to a more sympathetic one. "You love him, don't you?"

She couldn't answer. That possibility didn't cross her mind until now. Her silence was all the answer they needed.

"Kurosaki is doing alright. His soul went to the Soul Society and is reunited with his family, Anna made sure of it. She also brought Masaki to them, the Kurosaki's be living in the Shiba house."

"It's true. She came to tell us that before bringing you here."

"I see." In a way she felt freed. While there was no guilt for what she did, knowing Ichigo was well off somehow helped her close that cycle.

"I know you won't forgive me, I won't ask for that, but I will ask you, to have a good life. Take care of the others, follow your dreams and live long and happy. I will do the same, even if we are in separate world's. Just do that in the memory of the Inoue you once loved."

"I promise."

"I promise too"

Both Chad and Uryu gave her a tight hug. This would be the last time they saw eachother.

"Goodbye."

***

He didn't say anything. Not on their way back to the room, and not when he locked himself in the washroom.

Orihime knew something was amiss. Ulquiorra looked tense, angry even. She decided to speak with him.

'What am I doing? This isn't right. I'm acting just like Kurosaki did.'

Ulquiorra had ran himself a hot bath in an effort to calm down. As much as he dreaded to admit it he was enraged by Grimmjow's words. When Orihime returned from her talk with the humans, she had tears running down her face and a faint sad smile.

'She's regretting it. She regrets giving up her life for me. That was a sacrifice that should've never taken place.'

Still, it was wrong of him to act so cold towards her. Instead he should offer her solace. 'I'm all she had left.'

Before he could get out of the marble pool and go back into his room, he saw her standing in the doorway. "Can I join you?" she asked shyly.

Ulquiorra swallowed hard. Orihime had nothing but a towel on, and her pretty face was adorned with a faint pink blush.

"Yes, you may join me." He finally answered with a raspy voice.

He turned away as she uncovered herself, only facing her once she was covered up to her chest by water. Even so, her curves didn't leave anything to the imagination.

"Ulquiorra. We need to talk."

"What do you wish to talk about?"

"What happened down at the dungeons."

He braced himself, and spoke as calmly as possible. "You wish to return to you original form. It's understandable as your sacrifice shouldn't have happened so I shall do what's in my power to help you-"

Orihime placed her fingers on his lips, silencing him. It was then when he felt tears forming in his eyes

Orihime chuckled. "No, you're mistaken. I don't want to go back and I don't regret what I did.

Ulquiorra, I didn't hesitate to sacrifice my humanity for you. I knew what the consequences would be and didn't care. You matter more to me than anything or anyone else, and I don't ever want you to doubt that. I want to be with you forever, Ulquiorra Schiffer."

He felt the tears spilling. Never in his life did he think he could find anyone that would truly love him, yet here she was. From the moment they met he felt drawn. It was as if an otherworldly force took possession of him, and urged him to keep her at his side. Yet when Kurosaki almost killed her, he didn't hesitate to sacrifice himself for her. Now she had done the same for him, and they could be together for all eternity.

"Forgive me for my embarrassing behavior. I shouldn't have doubted you.

I shall confess that I didn't care for much before meeting you, my life was nothing but a dark endless void, until you filled it with light. Your optimistic nature, your melodic voice, your bravery, it is all very enticing. I thought our story would end when Kurosaki turned me into ash, yet it didn't.

You wouldn't let us have a bitter end, regardless of the cost. And I vow to prove your sacrifice to be worth it, every single day."

Orihime smiled wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close. "It's a promise, my dear Ulquiorra."

She crashed their lips together into a lustful kiss. Ulquiorra had never considered himself to be a lustful man, until that moment. He wanted nothing more than to ravish Orihime until they were both exhausted.

"Let's go back to our room, darling. There's a lot I want to do with you."

[itswildwinters]

Hello lovebug and happy December 21st! The day of the great reveal is coming, and it's coming fast so i hope you're ready. First of all, I wanted you not to worry about answering. This happens, and if anything I was just scared you were sick or something. You didn't owe me an explanation but I'm glad to hear you got to spend time with your family.

My exams went decently, I'd say? I don't think I quite aced them but I hope I'll pass, and I'm glad to be free of these awful, awful deadlines. Like I'll still be working during the holidays, but even though it's quite tiring, it is not the same. But the holidays being there also means I have to start looking for a master degree, so it's stressful but I'm trying to enjoy myself, keeping that info in a tiny corner of my mind. Thank you for your kind words by the way, it seems like you always have the right words to say. We have our whole lives to find ourselves, after all and whatever choice I make, will (hopefully) be a step towards something greater.

I finally got to see the Hunchback of Notre Dame and I must say Disney did a great job! Loved it a lot, even though it was less childish than I thought it'd be? i don't think 6-year-old me would have quite understood what this was all about.

I actually love Coraline and you got me super excited talking about it. I'll try to convince my roommate to watch it with me one of these days. Must be one of my favorite movies ever, it's just so magical to watch and I just love the concept. It's quite a shame, too, but I have seen very few of the movies your just mentioned. I'll write them down, though and will absolutely give you feedback if I end up watching them.

Me, a minx? I'm so sweet and I really don't quite know what you're talking about. Guess you'll find out if I really am one soon enough :)

You sound so so lovely! One of my favourite personality traits of yours is your curiosity. It's just so nice seeing how interested you are in so many things?

To answer your question, I don't quite know what my animal would be (reminds me of Brothers Bears, though!). I must say I love wolves but it feels like maybe it's too basic. But I love the idea of packs, of belonging and living together, you know! I loves foxes too. I was quite obsessed with orcas, too, a while ago so maybe that as well.

Anyway, I hope you're doing great and I hope this week has been treating you well. You deserve all the best things in the world, and I'm very grateful for you. Please take care and enjoy your family, I'll wait! I love you and support you, there's no need to worry about anything. You're safe and sound :) Love you and may happiness find its way to you!

Sending frozen kisses and warm hugs your way,

Your Secret Santa

PS: I remember wanting to tell you something but I forgot, that's meh

Hello my favourite human being!!

I know I don’t owe you an explanation but it’s so very nice to know that someone cares about me, I really appreciate it so much!!

I’m wishing you luck with choosing a master degree. I think that’s such a difficult choice to make because it’s a degree to perfect yourself, in a way, and it’s even more years spent studying so I guess it would be nice to get it right the first time. I’m also stressing about what to choose as my master degree tbh but, I’m sure we’ll both manage it!!

You should be proud of yourself for going through all of your exams!! What matters is that you did your best, regardless of the outcome. And I think that what you learn is more important than what you achieved, because a goal can always be reached at one point or another, but the knowledge you obtain over the months, the years — this is more valuable. I wish the academic system would think that way, too. It would put a lot less pressure onto people.

I think you’re so right, Hunchback of Notre Dame isn’t very fit for children because of the violence or the sadness, but that’s why I love it so much I guess haha. I’m so glad you did, too!! Now onto the book 😉

1) FINALLY someone who loves Coraline so much! I love you even more than I did two seconds ago, believe it or not. 2) I cant wait to hear your thoughts on all of them!!

I can’t wait to go see the French Dispatch. I sense a new fave coming through. Ofc, also Spider-Man — everyone is talking about it, it’s insane!

I know you’re the sweetest ever. 1/3 of the time I want to squish you in my arm and the rest I want to spend talking to you. You’re truly the best person I’ve had the privilege of meeting; and therefore the best Santa I could ever have asked for.

Wolves are sooo not basic! They’re such incredible animals, and I love them. I used to watch documentaries about them when I was little. Orcas are kinda terrifying 😳 but they look so intriguing with their mix of black and white so I understand you! It’s too bad we don’t often hear people talk about orcas, or even in the tv, I seldom see any documentaries on them which is so :(((

My trip with my family went well, except at the end when I got into an argument with my grandmother but oh well. It’s fine now, I’ve made abstraction of it. I hope you’re enjoying your break and taking care of yourself, you truly deserve it!!

Do you have any pet? 💝

Sending you love and happiness, wherever you go,

Yours 💓

PS: my mom always says that if you forget something you wanted to say, it was most likely a lie or it wasn’t important at all. Laugh with me because this always makes me laugh. That’s my mom for you!

[weabbynormalblog]

Day 19 of Canadian Quarantine.

Ground breaking method for managing stress. The Min Hoff Technic below.

These days I count myself as lucky.

I'm lucky there's food in the fridge. I live in Canada. My meds are up to date. My family and those I care for are safe, warm and dry. No one's sick so far that I know personally. 😀💕

We all really need to appreciate all the good. Especially when things seem so bad and there's clearly more suffering in the world. Let's not add to it. The news is sensationalized there is no doubt, the truth is somewhere in the middle.

I know it's difficult to believe that there is a silver lining here. Change is happening all the time, you never know when the tide will shift again, maybe on better winds.

Being proactive about anything like health is worthwhile. Whether it's by staying home, being more self reliant, organized, getting more rest or doing less, meditation, eatting fresh produce, exercising and maybe even following a "lifestyle" schedule, or you could be learning something new like painting by Bob Ross to Taichi or a Yoga pose will be beneficial to you the reader. Under the stress of what we are all experiencing in some in epic proportions.

We all need some beneficial distraction and support. I'm here!

All we need as individuals is to manage our lives as best we can in the right now moment. True some humans are better equipped than others. Everything we do now as humanity will have the butterfly effect and will potentially ripple for years to come.

No pressure... lol

Some people are dealing well under the circumstances picking up better health regimes, learning new skills, working together as a business, as a family unit or helping out in the community. Then there's others who have lost everything. We all must pitch in and find a way to pick ourselves up and feel out our way together as we stumble out of the darkness. All of us will experience this at some point or another. Life is difficult, never predictable and we are always learning and adapting.

Everyone needs to learn to accept their fear of the unknowns. I know its really scary with all that's going on. We must learn to face our fears so we can still see and find realistic solutions.

How do we find some peace with all of this? Keep power in the facts. Have a level head. Choose to table brainstorming with your co-inhabitants. Weighing the pros, the cons, possible solutions and possible draw backs will always have better results in the long run, opposed to knee jerk reactions. Agree to disagree in the wake of what is a priority. Contact your relative branch of the government to support and maintain humanitarian efforts. We all bleed the same. Above all stay positive or at least adopt a more neutral attitude not depended on a certain outcome. Change your vocabulary. There's no such thing as perfect or normal. When we change our thoughts and vocabulary we have the power to transform our lives. Face it, we are responsible for each other now. Our very hygienic habbits and isolation abilities depend upon it. It's not through hate, fear or gluttony that humanity will prevail but in spite of everything else we will overcome, grow and adapt.

The world is changing and so are we. We can decide how to build our future. As a human animal we are evolving from this Pandemic whether or not we choose to accept it. 9/11 changed how we live in this world. It only stands to reason that this too will show us humans what we are really made of.

When lightening strikes a forest, it burns and smoldiers often causing fire, havoc and destruction and loss. In the wake of the destruction of plants, trees and animals they will return to grow and flourish again as nature dictates.

Any positive changes made to amuse our bodies and minds has serious pay outs under these global stressors. Suddenly we are forced outside our "comfort zone" for the 1st time in hundreds of years. Adversity can make you stronger. The human animal must choose to flee or stay. To support or destroy. We have time to ponder and it's never been more vital than now. How do wish to go on from here? What will we prioritize and choose to celebrate will mean so much more in the future. All that is more precious will be protected to remain.

We have time to listen, to discuss and change. Above all accept some certain hard truths about faith, science and personal beliefs. To take a leap and to choose to trust in others, to be a part of a better coalition for humanity and our planet this is important. How will the human in the future look back on us during this time. What is our message for them?

This is our wake up call people. We have the power to make this a better world, one moment at a time.

Yes our livelihoods have crumbled under the pressure of what is essential and necessary to human kind. Those who can are paying it forward, it's a beautiful thing to see. Yes some humans run from the fire, some dive underwater. Some also learn to fly. Those who lead by good example show us our gifts like inclusion, compassion and empathy. With hard times ahead we will need altruism and all kinds of usefull skills, like clear communication,creativity, patience and lots of wisdom too. We can learn so much from each other when we are not divided by prejudices. We can choose this "time" we have been given as a gift or a curse. It's all a matter of what perspective that you are experiencing it from.

I've always assumed that this world would never stop for anyone. I guess I was wrong. I used to say stop this world I want to get off. Now the world did stop. I don't have to pay my taxes till September. Maybe there's no death too, or it will be waylaid in some miraculous fashion. The human brains' perception can be tricked and fooled too so who knows. We haven't had to run or fight our "foe" for a long time. Now it's microscopic. We can still strive for greatness while serving ourselves and our neighbors good health. We can learn to become stronger, co-create more mutuality beneficial solutions. In the end we will more resilient and less fearful of the unknown because we can take care of our right now. So let go of what you can not change, accept what you can and go boldly forward into the unknown with peace in your heart.

THE MIN HOFF TECHNIC

Breath in and out as deeply and quickly that is comfortable for you, in through your nose and out your mouth to the count of 30, it's exhal and hold it untill your are comfortable to inhale and hold and then breath normally. Please note you may experience some lightheadedness as well as the ability to think clearer under situations of duress. As it helps your body to make better use if oxygenation during a stressful event or situation. This guy stoped himself from getting frostbite from using this type of breathing method. All situations were scientifically measured. Conscious breathing can be a miraculous amazing thing.

[mbti-notes]

(1/6) Hey again! I've asked you something once before (almost a year ago) and your insight is one of few that I find helpful. I'm here once again with an updated situation because no one else can offer me too much. Here goes: I'm an intp who got a little too emotionally involved with an isfp. We work together and she's been in a ~2 year relationship. Workplace romances are interesting to me because they develop in a genuine way; simply getting to know each other slowly over time. Well it's been

[con’t: years and I’ve acknowledged our interest in each other a year ago. You’ve suggested that I should take her feet-dragging as a red flag, but I empathize with her situation. She has a comfortable living situation and comfort zones are difficult to get past. Present contentment is blinding to future stress, but as perceivers, we’re well versed in putting things off until the proverbial dust pile consumes us from under the carpet.We have tried pushing away from each other many times, but nothing changes. We just ignore one another while both wanting to share things and talk. Eventually the walls come down and we’re both glad to connect again. Feelings won’t go away and the “game” we play is childish. We mainly talk at work, which adds up to about an hour or two a week. We’d love to talk more (maybe even see if leaving is worth it to her), but indulging in her feelings is “wrong”.I understand her reasoning in not wanting to be disloyal, but she’s had one foot out of the door for the last year and that shouldn’t be if things were already happy for her. I’m not interested in trying to “win”, but just to find a resolution. Obviously I’m biased, but ultimately she’s a close friend and I want what’s best. We just work so well and haven’t met many people that we feel as comfortable being open with. It’s too much to just walk away from. I think I… uh, really like her.Finally, my questions. I’ve tried focusing on her negative qualities in order to push away, but I can relate to them (e.g procrastination, passivity, lack of drive, indecisiveness). To not accept those qualities feels like hypocrisy, so they don’t bother me unlike past relationships. How might I reach a resolution without twisting her arm? What might she need to think about? Any suggestions on convincing her that action takes force, even though it feels like it can wait? How can I help her to feel that it’s ok to talk outside of work, which I feel would be helpful in deciding what to do? Any insights on her perspective that I may not be considering? Thanks a lot for reading!]

My opinion has not changed. Your passivity and procrastination is what is causing the lack of resolution. It’s possible you’re dragging your feet because you don’t want to confront your own fears about what might happen if you take action, it’s a kind of defense mechanism. You want a resolution without taking responsibility for causing it. How much more time are you willing to give to this because it’s going to lead to you feeling stuck/regret and missing other opportunities? Whether the outcome is good or bad, you’ll get through it. Therefore, as I said last time, you have to take decisive action if this meandering is to end. I don’t know what her perspective is because I’m only hearing from you, I don’t like to assume things about people. It’s possible that she won’t make a move and risk losing what she has until she’s absolutely certain about what you want, in which case you have to make it clear to her what you want. It’s also possible that she doesn’t want to decide, so no matter what you do, she is going to feel torn or strongarmed. All of this speculation and trying to talk yourself in and out of whatever is rather useless, my advice continues to be: shit or get off the pot. Just ask her to meet and talk it out. You can’t control how she feels, so there is no manipulating the situation in that way.

[cloverly-ponies]

Sorry for the OOC ask, but... I'm struggling with pony names!! How do you get a 'ponysona' to be so perfect and all encompassing... when I make one, I'm happy with it, then stress that it isn't FULLY me... I can't get one I'm happy with. ;o;

DON’T APOLOGIZE, peeps don’t worry I’m just here enjoying my ponies I’ll worry about polish later when I’m physically capable of it. Right now we’re just all having a good time, talking about ponies, building up lore and worlds around them. This is a perfect question to hoof around with.

Let me answer flat out. I have no idea, Starcrossed was drawn on a goofy whim then never... changed. She’s just been exactly perfect for my personal sona and I could not be happier. SINCE I DON’T HAVE A GOOD ANSWER, WE’LL JUST REVIEW MY PROCESS! That way maybe you can try my tricks and see if you can’t find good ways to name up your ponies.

I’ve been... typing a lot lately. So as a precaution I’m going to put the rest under a read more.

For as long as I can remember, my joke “pony self” has always ALWAYS been a light purple (lilac) pony with bright yellow blonde mane and tail. Never stuck too much with a cutie mark so instead I just put stars on her butt because I have a very personal memory tattooed on my hand.

Here is a doodle I found, not entirely sure how old it is? 2011? Maybe older? I know this more “defined” version of the ponysona came out around 2011 since that’s when the reboot started I think. 

like dang, haha. ponies are hard to draw right? Apparently. Now my whole life I kinda color coded myself with lilac and yellows. I had a lot of bad shit always going on IRL so in my head I wanted to think about anything other than that. What better than ponies? Bright, colorful ponies. (Or whatever fursona I had at the time, always seemed to be purple. lol)

I see a lot of people refer to human skin tones or just flat browns when making sonas - at the time it was popular to draw yourself as a pony nearly everyone I saw did. It irked me a bit as I was stuck living in a horrible reality so I wanted to make sure mine was.. literally the happiest me. But still me. So she was purple. And her eyes were clear blue like I wish mine would be and her mane so bright. But I couldn’t bring myself to totally make her totally happy. I love pegasi the most personally, I think Starcrossed’s biggest dream is to have wings of her own. /clovercanons

But I also knew that because of the life I have lived... I knew I couldn’t have everything I wanted. That was a really huge impact I learned as a small child. So I didn’t give Starcrossed wings. Instead I gave her the loneliness of them. The cravings, the need, the want... To know she was born without, she will never have them. I wanted her to be sad like me, not completely like me my IRL story just sucks. But Starcrossed fantasy version of me could also experience sadness and longing for something. So I gave her longing for wings. Because I myself am limited in so many ways, I have chosen to limit starcrossed as well, and that’s why I picked her to be an earth pony instead of my dreamy pegasi. Despite her being a “happy fantasy” of myself. This anchors her to me on a very deep emotional level.

Next up? What is her true meaning. What does her cutie mark reflect? Now we brushed on that - AJ you literally just gave her your tattoo? Yep. But there is a story behind my tattoo.

As a kid, I frequently was locked out of the house, so instead I’d go and sleep at the park and stargaze in the field. I would stare at them until they were gone or I fell asleep. Something I typically don’t share is that I, like any other child, would make wishes on the stars. For a better life, for better things, for love and safety. I would whisper these wishes into my hand, kiss my knuckle, then “throw” motion at the sky as if I were actually sending my wishes up to be heard by someone, anyone. It’s a habit I did outgrow. But even though I never got help, I never really felt alone so long as I could see the sky. It made me feel small, but wonderful. Like a star in the sky. There are numerous stars yet none are less beautiful than the other. And so, on my 21st birthday, I had a bit of extra cash and I went and got a tattoo on my hand where I use to kiss it. I asked for 3 stars since I typically made wishes in threes. This way even though I couldn’t see the stars in the sky, I carried them with me always. This was my way of trying to convince myself to be strong for myself.

So this obviously got a bit emotional and messy. Who the heck saw this coming for a stupid purple pony amiright? Haha. Starcrossed’s natural “talent” in the mlpverse is Perseverance. Because it doesn’t matter how many times she fails, gets hurt, or falls down. She will always get up again. She will always keep looking up.

(Sorry we made this into Starcrossed’s life story, we’re getting to names now!!!)

Starcrossed got her name simply because... She had stars on her butt. I wasn’t fond of any specific objects or items to think of anything. And anything space/galaxy related didn’t fit either. So I literally sat down at my computer with a note book and wrote down every single-star related name I could think of. Because back then I assumed ponies HAD to  be named after their cutie marks or themes? (obviously now I realize durr of course not??? Why am I putting all these crazy invisible rules on myself???)

But seriously. I just.. googled, and googled, and googled. I checked baby names, I listed any silly items I liked? Pennies, rocks, bottles, flowers. There were 2 categories, first one appealing to her star theme directly and the second category just.. random objects I like, like popcorn?? Just anything you can come up with. Then you google those, then you check the thesaurus and then you check those words and it just.. yanno, link after link. Finally you have this HUGE list of potential names. You just... kinda talk out loud to yourself, try saying the name. See how it feels, do you like how it sounds? Would the character like it? Would the character be excited to hear their name from somepony they knew? Just.. Shrug??? I dunno I get a little TOO into this sometimes I swear.

I was trying to google something for modifying some other name I can’t even remember now and I accidentally got Romeo and Juliet covers, and it just said “STARCROSSED LOVERS” and it hit me. Starcrossed. Fated for each other but never to be? That... felt perfect. For her, for me, for our life. It was perfect. And so it stuck. I never once regretted.

---

✦ SIDE STORY; you peeps gotta notice all my pony names aren’t gold. I mean come on AJ, Bud? Divide? Princess Charming???? Are... you trying? YES I AM I SWEAR - it just took me a while to figure out I don’t have to follow anyone’s rules. My ponies names do NOT have to be canon-like. Take Dusty Lace for example, she despises her name so she FORCES everyone to refer to her only as Miss Lacey. Some of my pony names are perfect; Starcrossed, Smitten Sweets, Mocha Delight, Harvest Tale, these are all names I’m extremely happy with.

But you all want to know who I think my best named pony is? Welp, he’s not my pony even. It’s @provinite‘s ponysona! Providence. I know, how silly. It doesn’t even sound like a real mlpfim name. But that’s okay, it sounds... so perfectly pony and cloverly to me.

His ponysona doesn’t have nearly as deep as a backstory as mine, I literally just asked him what colors he likes so I could draw him as a pony and draw us together, he played along and helped me design it for him! He wanted nice rich greens and golds, very irish feeling. And he wanted his pony to be large size like big mac. The #7 cutie mark just because it’s his favorite number!

Now for me his name was a play - it was suppose to sound and make you think of a province. Like a piece of land or territory. It’s only right now as I googled it did I realize I mistook province and providence as the same word. But... hilariously we’re getting to the point I was going to make. Providence often refers to: Divine providence, divinely ordained events and outcomes. Because my husband, @provinite, is literally one of the biggest influences and saving graces of my life, he is quite literally my divine providence.  (You know that episode where big mac is an alicorn? That’s how starcrossed see’s prov all the time. Capable of anything.)

So the pony names I’m def most proud of stamping to my characters (err his character too) is Starcrossed and Providence.

Oh by the way if none of you guessed yet, Sleepy Star was always an alt sona of mine from Starcrossed only she’s a lot more canon/in-character where as Starcrossed is completely silly and OOC (like pinkie pie and the 4th wall whatever). I literally named her Sleepy star just because I’m always so fucking tired. That’s it. Trust me if you just commit you can pretty much make ANYTHING work for a name. Just put heart into it and enjoy the character building experience!

---

TLDR VERSION: Fuck rules, name ponies whatever the hell you want. Anyone gives you shit for it you send them to me and I’ll show’em. >:C

Make big fat fat fat lists pertaining to anything you know about your pony (OR ANYTHING YOU LIKE IN GENERAL?). Personality, region where they grew up, looks, colors, favorite tastes/smells/things, their job/occupation, things their parents expect of them/want for them, seriously I even just google like phrases and shit and try to compact them if I can. Just... literally go nuts. Use song lyrics, fairy tales, foods and drinks, all sorts of silly stuff you love and want to make a huge part of your ponies life! HAVE FUN!!!

PS this is stupid and long and I’m sorry.

[babylon-bitch]

Just Friends ~ I'm Late (part 35)

A/N: I’ve been really inactive all week, I’ve been busy writing this and an imagine, it’s currently at 5k+ I’m really liking it so far. I said it’d be out this week but it will probably be out next week, if not the week after. Sorry it’s taken so long :/

Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.

Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.

What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together?

***

I’ve had an awful week, I’ve been sick, but only in the morning then the rest of the day my stomach hurts, I have a headache, I’m always tired, and weirdly, my boobs hurt a lot.

I’ve been really stressed recently too, revising for exams. My driving test has been stressing me out, my driving instructer is a total dick. Very strict and I don’t know how he became a driving instructer because he has some serious road rage problems. I have to stifle a laugh at some of the things he says.

Luke has been really worried about me, saying I should go to the doctor, but even if I was throwing up blood, I’d still not go to the doctors. Luke claims that it should be over, it’s nearly been a week. I don’t know, sometimes it feels as if I’m feeling better then in a couple of hours I feel like shit again.

Rushing out of bed and into the bathroom and vomiting, I lean on the toilet, waiting for more to come. Here it is, I hold my hair back as I vomit my guts out, one again. I think I’m finished, so I brush my teeth to get the taste out of my mouth.

I open the bathroom door and I’m met by the sun blinding me and my mum. “Hello?” I squint.

“How long have you been sick for?” She dives straight in.

“All week.” I answer but it comes out as a question

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She questions.

“Didn’t think it was necessary, I’m 18 I can deal with being ill myself. Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna go back to bed.” I huff.

I’ve been having a lot of mood swings too, maybe I’m gonna have a monster period.

“Why don’t you go to the doctors?” She asks.

“I don’t need to, I’m only sick. Now see you in a bit.” I wave and close my door. I hear her mumble something but choose to ignore it and face plant my bed. I feel so ill, but I can eat fine, even more than I usually eat.

“Luke’s here.” In hear someone shout.

I wait for him to come up and I still have my face against my sheets, struggling to breathe.

“How are you feeling, babygirl?” A familiar voice asks.

I groan in response and I hear him chuckle, I’m not really into talking right now. “I take that as no difference.”

“I’ve already been sick this morning and my mum found out too.” I tell him.

“You mean you didn’t tell her?” He asks.

“No, why would I?” I question.

“Because she’s your mother maybe?”

“Whatever.” I mutter and finally turn around onto my back. “I’ve been ill for a week, when will this stop?”

“When is your period due?” He questions.

“Tomorrow, I think.” I answer and he nods.

I decide to freshen up and get in the shower, changing into some gym shorts the type you wear in volleyball, a very thin graphic tee crop top, with a sports bra underneath.

Work out gear is so comfy.

I brush my hair through and just leave it, not even doing my parting. Putting on a little concealer, mascara and blush so I don’t look so dead.

Walking into my bedroom and look for some trainer socks because my feet are cold.

I’ve got loads of school stuff to do and then Erika and I are meeting up to do some work to our book. Sitting down in my deskchair and starting some chemistry homework.

“I believe you have a guest.” Luke claims.

“Well you were on your phone,” I tell him.

“Shut up.”

“I’ve got a load of homework and revision and shit to do. I’m not gonna be any fun.” I shrug.

“I’ll be on the roof.”

“Do you know how weird that sounds?” I laugh.

Luke kisses my forehead before walking out of my bedroom. I haven’t been able to kiss Luke at all this week, only on the forehead and cheek, and I appreciate that he doesn’t makeout with my cheek.

After an hour and a bit I get board of chemicals so I decide to find Luke, if he’s here still that is.

Taking the easy route that the boy’s don’t know about and go into the loft and then through that window. Closing the loft door behind me and stepping on a box to reache the window, opening that to as far as it goes and closing that behind me.

Walking over to where Luke is and sitting next to him, dangling my feet over the roof. “Where the fuck, did you come from?” He questions after a minute or two of silence.

“I’m magic.” I smirk.

“Magic ways of making me fall in love with you.” He says and I blush and giggle.

“Always so cheesy, Hemmings.” I rest my head on his shoulder.

“You love it.” He laughs as he puts his arm around me.

“What have you been up to whilst I was in my room?” I ask.

“I’ve been writing a song.” He tells me and picks up his acoustic that has a smiley face on it, drawn by me.

“Now, where the fuck did that come from?” I question.

“I went home quickly and then came back.” He explains.

“Oh.”

“I’m stuck with the transition from the chorus and then the next verse, I can’t get it to be smooth.” Luke frustratedly states.

I tell him some chords and his face lights up, he tries it and it sounds great. “How did you know that?” He asks.

“I think you’ve forgotten I’ve been with you when you learnt guitar, you’d always tell me about the stuff you’d learnt.”

“Oh yeah, I did, didn’t I?” He smiles at the memory.

“Yeah, it was quite interesting though.”

“Y-”

“No, I’ve told you this before and I’m going to tell you one more time, I’m not learning to play.” I cut him off.

“You’d be good at it though.” He claims.

Damn right I am.

“Luke.” I warn.

“Just keep it in mind and I’ll be your sexy guitar teacher, that you can sleep with all the time.” Luke smirks.

“I think I’d get Michael to teach me.”

“Uh no, you wouldn’t.”

***

I’m late, like really late.

A week late and I’m rarely late, I thought I was just stressed and all but it’s been 6 days. I’m starting to get nervous because a couple of weeks ago, Luke and I did the deed and didn’t use a condom, I am on birth control but I know for a fact that I’ve forgotten to take it some days.

I haven’t told Luke or anyone yet, I’m scared as fuck. Luke is still 17, he’s not even a legal adult, there’s no way he would stay with me if I had a child. If I am pregnant, I’m probably not gonna keep it.

Now that I think about it, being sick in the mornings, tender breasts, feeling sick a lot, mood swings, but that could also be period symptoms, besides being sick in the morning.

Maybe I should just call Luke and I will take a test, just to be sure. I’ve been crying all morning, it was hard being in school whilst that happened, I skipped geography and went to a secluded part of the school to cry. I was laying in bed at night, starting to panic, because of the possibility that I could be pregnant. Then I thought about it and I’ve been a shaking, worrisome, terrified, over analysing mess.

Picking up my phone and clicking on Luke’s contact, waiting for Luke to pick up. “Hey babe, I’m with the guys ri- NO, MY BALL, you’re hacking.” Luke gets distracted.

“Luke.” I sob.

“Woah, Harp, what’s wrong?” He questions, concern filling his voice.

“Please, c-come over, we n-need to talk.” I stutter.

“Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.” He tells me.

“Don’t hang up, please.” I beg.

“Okay, it’s alright, baby.” He soothes.

“What’s going on?” Someone that sounds like Michael asks.

“I don’t know, Harper seems upset, I don’t know when I’ll be back.” He tells them, whilst I continue to cry into the phone.

“Um, okay, I hope she is alright.”

“Yeah, I’ll be back later, bye.” Luke says to the guys and I here him sigh. “Hey, Harper, it’s alright, calm down, I’ll be there in a matter of seconds.”

I sniffle and wipe my smudged mascara.

Within seconds the door bell goes off and I race down the stairs, swinging the door open and collapsing into Luke, he quickly wraps his arms around me. “What’s up?” He whispers in my ear.

I try to form a sentance but no words come out and I breakdown again. “C'mon.” Luke sighs and picks me up, I wrap my legs around his waist and continue to sob into his shoulder.

Luke sets me down on his lap and he sits on my bed. “Gorgeous, I’d love to help you, but I need to know what’s wrong.” Luke says.

“I’m late.” I wipe away my tears away, trying to compose myself again.

“To what? I’m sure you can get there if you leave.” He chuckles.

“No, Luke, my period is late.” I confess and his eyes widen.

“By how much?” He gulps nervously.

“6 days, but if you t-think about it, I’ve been having morning sickness, all the pregnancy symptoms.”

“But we’ve been safe.” He furrows his eyebrows.

“Remember a couple of weeks ago we didn’t have any protection?” I question.

“But you said that you were on the pill.”

“Yeah, but I forget to take it sometimes.” I sigh.

“Have you told anyone else?” He asks.

“No, I’ve been too nervous.”

“Why don’t we go out and get some tests, then see what happenes.” Luke suggests.

“Okay, let me just freshen up and put on some trousers.”  I mutter and get off his lap, going into the bathroom, putting on some perfume on, brushing my teeth, cleaning up my tears, deciding to go make up free and last but not least, I put on some black leggings.

“Ready?” Luke questions.

I know that inside he is probably panicking as much as I am, but from the outside he looks so calm. I can see right through your smile Hemmings.

“Yeah,” I nod and put on some shoes before walking the door.

“It’s gonna be alright, despite the outcome.” Luke smiles down at me and intwines our fingers.

“Will you stay with me?” I ask the question that has been hovering over me. Luke looks a mixture of being offended and a ‘are you serious’ look.

“Of course, I’d be with you if you were a zombie, I never want to leave you. Plus this possible baby is mine, right?” He panicks a little bit.

“Yes, or course,” and now its my turn to give him a ‘are you serious’ look.

“I had to make sure.” He jokes.

Classic Luke, trying to make me smile whatever the situation.

“If-if you are pregnant, will you keep it?” He asks.

“Do you want me to?” I question.

“It’s your body so it’s totally your choice.” He claims.

“I probably won’t, I’ve got a f-future, I can hardly go to uni if I’ve got a child to look after. I’m not ready, maybe in ten years but definitely not now.”

“When would you want to have a child? Preferably with me.”

“Ten years, probably in my late twenties, we’ve only been going out for 5 or 6 months, we’re too young to have any responsibilities of that kind, you’re not even a legal adult yet. To be honest, I’ve never really thought about having children with you, of course I’d want to, but it’s never crossed my mind.” I explain.

“I don’t think that our relationship in numbers count, we’ve known each other practically all our lives, so I think when we are the right age, we’ll have children, not when we’ve been dating for a significant amount of time.” He points out.

“That’s very true. When would you want to have children?” I ask.

“Mid/late twenties maybe, when ever you’re ready to be honest.” He answers.

“Here it is,” I say as we walk into the shop. “This is so weird, I’ve never done this before, actually yeah I have, I went with Erika once.”

“Erika thought she was pregnant?” Luke questions.

“Yeah, she wasn’t though.” I explain.

“Should we get a couple, just to make sure?” Luke questions.

“Uh sure,” I nod my head, starting to panic again.

“Hey, it’s alright, I’m here.” Luke cooes and rubs the small of my back.

“I know, it’s just I’m eighteen, I’m not ready to even think about being a mum. How could we be so irresponsible?”

“We made a mistake but we learn from our mistakes.” He states.

“Ugh it’s gonna be so awkward buying these.” I groan as I pick up two prefnancy tests.

“Why don’t you put an act on, it will be funny, I’ll give you a backstory. You and your sexy husband, Luke Hemmings have been trying for a baby. You’re 29 and you think your finally pregnant. Go.” He tells me and pushes me towards the counter by my ass.

I’ll be staying away from sex for a while, I can tell you that.

“Hey, you need to come with me.” I tell him.

“Ugh, fine, but I need a backstory.”

“You are a 28 year old idiot, oh wait, you already are. You’re a 32 year old male and are dating a hot 29 year old, called Harper White. Oh you’ve got an interest in My Little Pony. That gets all the ladies.”

“I’m 32, dating you, a 27 year old and I’ve got an interest in My Little Pony.” He concludes.

“Let’s go see if I’m pregnant.” I exclaim and Luke chuckles.

Luke puts his arm around me and we go pay for these.

The lady at the check out gave us a funny look but I just ignored her and put the pregnancy tests into my bag.

“I am so nervous.”

We’re at my house now and I’m so fucking worried, and kind of ashamed.

“Well I guess I should find out what my future holds.” I sigh.

Taking one test with me and closing the door behind me. Taking the pregnancy test out of the box and reading the instructions. I finally build up enough confidence to just take it.

I do my business on the stick and I put the cap on, placing it on the counter. I sit on the toilet lid as I wait, a million thoughts going through my mind, 1 second feels like one minute.

I never thought I’d be taking a pregnancy test at eighteen, let alone ever, I’ve never really seen myself getting married or having children. I wouldn’t be upset if I was pregnant in the right time, in the future, but it’s never been my scene.

My hands are shaking, my heart is beating so fast and I’m pretty sure England can hear it, a million thoughts going through my mind, I probably look as if I’ve seen a ghost.

Time should be up by now and I’m just not ready, I can’t do this. “Luke.” I call out and open the door.

“Yeah?” He questions, his breath hitching as he walks onto the landing.

“I can’t look at it, I need you to look at it.” I claim

“Okay, baby.” He nods.

Probably not the best nickname to use right now.

Luke wraps his arm around me and pulls me into an embrace. He picks up the pregnancy test with his arm still around me and his breathing picks up. “What do two lines mean?” He questions.

I burst out crying into his chest. Luke quickly puts the test down and wraps his other arm around me, one rubbing up and down my back and the other in my hair.

“Hey, it’s gonna me alright, we can get through this.” He whispers into my ear.

“How is it going to be okay? We’re fucking pregnant, I’m 18 your 17, we can’t have a baby.” I claim.

“Are pregnancy tests always 100%?”

“Not all the time, but it’s quite rare for them to be wrong.” I tell him.

“Why don’t you take the other one, just to be sure?” He suggests.

“What’s even the point?” I mutter.

“Come on Harper, now isn’t the time to mope around, we need to find this out.” Luke sighs.

I nod, knowing he is right.

“I’ll um, leave you to it.” He awkwardly says, and if I wasn’t in this state, I would’ve laughed at him.

I nod and fill a glass up with water before downing, and waiting for it to pass through.

After a while I do the test again, this time it isn’t as bad as last time, but it’s still terrifying. After the time period is up, I timidly look at it and it comes back as negative.

The fuck?

“Luke,” I call him.

“Yeah?” He asks as he walks in, a terrified look on his face.

“It’s negative.”

“But, what?” He questions.

“I don’t know, we’re gonna have to book an appointment, I’m not going through the stress of taking a fucking pregnancy test again.”

“Yeah, okay, do you think we’ll able to book an appointment now for tomorrow?” He asks.

“It’s half five, so probably, I’m not sure about tomorrow though.” I answer.

“Who’s gonna do it?” Luke asks.

“I should probably do it because I am possibly carrying our child.” I sigh.

I take my phone out of my pocket and phone the hospital.

After 10 minutes it’s all booked and surprisingly enough, I’ve got a slot for tomorrow.

“Okay, we’ve got an appointment at 1:15 tomorrow afternoon. Is that alright?”

“Uh, yeah I think so.” He nods.

“Whats happening at 1:15 tomorrow?” Someone asks and I drop my head onto Luke’s chest, letting out a groan.

“Whats wrong with her?” Michael asks.

“Dunno.” He shrugs and wraps his arms around me.

“So what’s happening tomorrow?” Calum asks.

“Uh, Harper and I are… going on a date.” He trails off.

“Romantic.” I mutter and he squeezes me.

“But Harper doesn’t like going on dates.” Erika points out.

“Trying something new.” He covers.

“Oh, like your sex positions?” Ashton asks.

“The fuck?” I question.

“Just leave us alone, we have… things to sort out, nothing that concerns you guys.”

“What things?” Mike asks.

“Nothing that concerns you.” I say as I walk out of my room and make my way down into the kitchen.

“Harper, can I talk to you for a minute?” Someone asks and I quickly turn around, being met my Maddie.

“Oh, hello, I was wondering where you were.” I smile.

“Do you have a minute?” She questions.

“Um, yeah sure.” I shrug and I sit on the counter, Maddie sitting on the island opposite me.

“I’m going to go ask/show you something.” She starts off. “So I found this on Twitter about 10 minutes ago, not many people have seen it, yet.”

Maddie plays a video of Luke and I at the shop we went to, it’s more of just audio, but at some parts you can see us. You can literally hear us, word by word talking about it all, they must’ve been on the other isle, or even behind us. We must’ve been so caught up in the moment and didn’t check our surroundings.

“So…” Maddie trails off.

“Um uh.” I stutter. Do I tell her? I guess I should seek some female help, I definitely can’t ask my mum, because of obvious reasons, Erika wouldn’t be able to keep her mouth shut. I haven’t really done anything like this with Maddie so now’s my chance I guess. “I may or may not be pregnant.” I quietly say.

“Have you taken the test yet?” She questions.

“Uh, y-yes, one came out positive and the other came out negative.” I tell her.

“What are you gonna do?”

“I literally just booked a doctor’s appointment and then we’ll see what happens. I’m not gonna keep it, I don’t have time for a baby right now. I don’t even know if I want children in the future, let alone one now. I’m 18 for Christ sake. Are you disappointed in me or us?”

“Of course not, I could never think bad of you guys. What happened? Failed condom, unprotected sex? What birth control do you use?” She asks.

“Why?” I question.

“Need to take notes.” She claims.

“Maddie,” I can’t help but laugh, “you’re gay, you aren’t going to get pregnant with Erika anytime soon.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Anyway, it was unprotected sex, I feel so stupid and ashamed.” I groan.

“Don’t be ashamed, I’ve had a pregnancy scare before. I’ve only done it with a dude once and I’ve never gone back after that,” she laughs. “No, but I had a scare, had to take a pregnancy test, it came back negative. I think it’s more common than you think.”

“Thanks Maddie.” I smile.

“What will you do if you are pregnant?” She asks.

“I probably won’t keep it, but I just know I’m gonna get an overwhelming feeling of guilt.”